Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
and not sure why I'm still here. Why keep going? What's the point?
You should keep going because things can change and you can be in control of your own destiny in life. It may take patience though, even though you are suffering. You must not lose hope and keep fighting/working towards a solution.
What I'm saying is very vague, but the message overall is don't give up. There's lots of things that can still be done to help you. You probably aren't aware of it of course but there's different ways of treating depression.
Before I knew all this I thought I was just really messed up (turns out it's worse than I thought). I started cutting sometime in high school (I think I was 14?) Have been in and out of the hospital more times than I can count because of suicide threats. I attempted suicide 1 or 2 times? (sorry, memory not the best)
Now I've discovered that I have dissociative identity disorder (or multiple personalities for those of you who don't know what that is). Which explains why I don't remember a whole lot of my life (since "I" wasn't there).
I'm also struggling a lot with old/new memories, flashbacks, body memories, etc.
As I mentioned before, I've been in the hospital more times than I can count. Been to a few psychiatrists, tried medication. None of that worked. I see a therapist 2x a week, and she's been great (but because it's Christmas it's been a couple weeks). Next thing she wants me to do is go to see a specialist, but I won't be getting in to see him until at least July/August.
And I've been doing these things for forever! How long does it take? Because I really can't handle it for much longer.
We've chatted once and I know some of what you're going through. Having been through much of the same stuff, I can say that it's taken me about 20 years to get back to a really good space. It seems to take a year of hard work for every year of nastiness that happened. That may not hold completely true, but at least it's a rough guide for you, so you have some idea of how much longer the nasties will last. Some of it depends on how hard you work in therapy. I know some of my stuff took a little longer because finances prevented therapy, then I ended up at a specialty hospital for DID and made great progress there. So it all depends on how hard you are willing/able to work in therapy. I hope that you are able to stay in therapy and get better faster than I did.
Annie