Why do I feel the loneliest at night? I can have the best day ever but come night time I can slowly feel my mood coming down. I wish I could just be hugged tight and cry in someone’s arms without worrying them that I’m going to try hurting myself. I have such a big support group and yet, I still feel lonely. Why do I feel like this? Why do I constantly compare myself to others and put myself down? I want to enjoy life. I want to live a happy life. Why do these moods take over like a dark cloud hovering over you? I tell myself that things will be okay but then I get the thoughts of just wanting to end my life. But there has to be joy out there waiting for me right? I want to be loved by someone. Not just a family or friend type of love, but a love that keeps you wanting to know more about a person. There likes there dislikes there aspirations. A love that you can only have with a special someone. I just want to not feel like crap. I want to have a great day and come home and have a great evening/night. I workout to let loose some stress and it helps but after I’m done, I come home and it’s like a wall of depression just hits me like a ton of bricks. My emotions take over and I begin to slowly spiral down a hole of darkness. Then I get to feeling guilty cause I feel like I’m just feeling sorry for myself. I want to be happy. I want to live a long life. I want to achieve more goals but I also want to hide under a rock and sleep forever. I get so negative at times and just want to isolate myself from everyone. I know mentally what I need to do to get me out of a dark pit but emotions take over and knock right down. I have hope still though. I’m not going to give up, I can’t. I will be happy, some day.