Some days i feel like I exist for no reason. It's a scary thought. I don't have anyone in my life and rarely talk to anyone. Knowing that no ones life will change if you died is a terrible feeling. I feel like no matter what, we have to find purpose in life and be there for the people who have less than us. Most days its hard for me to do that, but we have to try. Depression is not easy when you have to do it alone and yes i agree it is always something that comes back to haunt us. I would say that going to therapy can help manage it, but its def a disease that lil often has a cure.

I am sorry that you have no one in your life, Nat. You can always talk to me. I am very blessed with a big family, but I’ve always felt like I couldn’t connect with any of them.

Hi Nat, I feel the same way. No one in my life also. Very small family that doesn't care. Always alone. I got laid off and hardley speak to anyone like you said. I feel like I'm going to go out of my mind. I speak to my counselor every Monday. She says that I'm sticking to what is familiar to me, the loneliness and not fitting in with anyone or group. I understand. I'm used to that, and like you, was like that even as a child. But I hate it now, because I look around and see nice families having bbqs, b'day parties, extended families, friends going out, boyfriend and girlfriend, etc. I have none of those. I've been in therapy for many years and it just taught me how to deal with it. It didn't help in changing me. I guess it's too "embedded" in us to change, even though we want to. Yes I feel your pain, I understand. If you ever want to vent, I'm here.

Several times in my life I did reach a point where I felt the whole world was just passing me by. I wished I was a part of it, but had health issues that did limit me then. And yes, I too was thinking how little time it would take for a very few to shed a tear and successfully move on. I could not fathom why the hell I was here or had to go through what I did.

What I can share is that I have been through a lot in my lifetime... and in different instances would wind up in counseling or therapy... each time learning more and kind of giving me another piece to the puzzle helping me a bit further on my journey.

I do believe everything happens for a reason and for me, each person I have come across has held another message ... kind of like another pebble on my path.

It's ok to want to relax and not be bothered. But when it comes to be that you are feeling empty, sad and alone.... then is when I would say just post a little journal or message on here. It helps to reach out or have another reach out to you. On DS I have come across many kind people who would share their experiences and encourage me... no I do want to try and do the same. We ALL need someone to care.
Hugs, Kim

PS. Sometimes (especially now with the isolation of covid) just calling or texting a friend you haven't spoke with for awhile does make a difference to both of you.

Depression has affected your mentality. This is what needs to be addressed. You have power to make or break all your relationships.

Thanks guys, there was a lot going on (in and out of my head) and I think isolating myself did help calm down.

My family did Thanksgiving last week and I think actually having my whole family around helped. I didn’t feel outside, I enjoyed having them around. I had a lot of anxiety about Thanksgiving and went away as soon as everyone was here.

Thanks for listening, by the way. I appreciate having y’all here at DS