Can't believe this has zero replies yet but here I am to congratulate you that God in his great love for you has not allowed you to die like that. You cannot love anyone unless you love yourself first so please start loving (and feeling sorry for how you've already treated) yourself. Have you forgiven your own soul? Please see my reply under "lonley" for direction.

Congratulations. Were you cutting for attention? Seem though. Congratulations for not killing yourself? Hmmm, .. well, OK ... congratulations.

I will put this very clearly ... you are STRONG for not cutting.

A person's life, issues with suicide, cutting, scarring, depression are very personal. You are making a mistake expecting the general public to make comments. Mental health is not for the public ... it is for the patient and his/her Doctor(s). Seek water from a well that has water in it ... and improve your situation though someone that is qualified ... your Doctor(s).

i would never dream of commenting on someone's self harm scars, even someone very close to me. i can't imagine that it would a good thing at all! i'll congratulate you. good job! that is huge and you should be proud of yourself. keep up the good hard work.

I think most people do not know what to say so they don't. It's not that they don't care. You are not weak. You are strong for not cutting and congratulations for not doing it for 2 months. If you're not receiving professional help with this, please find someone to talk to. A support group for cutting would also be helpful. Please continue to reach out when you need it.

in the real world you don't get lauded for basic functioning. You only get lauded for functioning well. Doing something spectacular. You get criticised for failing, performance managed, you get left alone if you just make minimum and you get wage raises if you excel.

We generally praise infants for conquering new skills. Wiping their own bottoms. Putting their shoes on the right feet. Once the task is known, no more praise. It used to be only really in kindergarten that we got or gave praise for doing the average basics. Then that crept into primary school after they stopped letting teachers whack the kids when they were naughty. The stick went, so the carrot had to get bigger. This has slowly extended further and further towards adulthood, but a number of people still don't buy into praise for non-failure.

The reason for this lies within concepts of primary motivation and secondary motivation. By the time the sixties rolled around, we knew that if you took a child who enjoyed colouring in, gave him rewards for colouring in, then his motivation would shift from enjoyment of colouring, to doing it for the reward. Then you take away the reward and you know what? He stops colouring. He has lost interest in it. You've damaged this child now. Primary motivation has been destroyed in the process of using 2ndary motivation.

I don't offer praise. Not once a task is known and can be expected to be performed. I mean, who praises me when I don't get anything wrong? Nobody. Do you praise your mother for not cutting? For not attempting suicide? No? Why not? Every day she doesn't kill herself is another day she hasn't killed herself. If you deserve praise so does she. So do I. I have no scars but I still deserve praise. If we're out there praising for not fucking up, I deserve as much praise as you do.

Bottom line is that you can be expected to continue to survive. You can be expected to not damage your body. Damaging your body is an insult to your mother and it's unacceptable, and deserving of a damn good hiding. I would rip my kids lungs out if they tried that shit and I don't care how PC that is. Do you know how big a baby's head is? Do you know what it's like to have your guts cut open in five minutes to pull a baby out cos it's turned blue and not breathing, and stitched back up again, or have your perineum torn and shit bricks for two months because baby turned her head during birth?

Have you ever tried to comfort a child that's spewing AND shitting all over you in great convulsing heaves as they cry and flail and weep? Have you ever not eaten to feed your child because there was no money for both of you?

You have no idea how much love is invested in you and how much sacrifice has been made for love of you. And how much agony you cause your mother every time you fuck about with suicide. You harm your mother's child like it doesn't rip her heart out of her chest to see it, like she wouldn't kill you if you were someone else doing it, and then you sit around wanting praise for not being a terrifying nightmare to her.

No. No praise from me.

Most people don't think it's polite to comment on someone's scars. Generally the only comments people give are rude or judgemental. Your a strong person and your doing good for being free from cutting. Your scars are your battle scars, they're not for others to look on or comment on. Its really not anyone else's business. Polite well-mannered people see it that way. Cruel, mouthy, judgemental people usually have some rude remark to make.

The point is, you didn't make those scars for anyone else, and you don't need other people commenting on them.

Take care,

Please don't think I don't understand what cutting is and where it's coming from, BUT...

You need to learn to deal with those feelings by processing them and letting them go.

You're not going to get POSITIVE attention for cutting, or for your lack of cutting.

If it's reward and positive attention you're seeking, DO something positive and refocus yourself and channel your energies into something positive that builds yourself and others up.

Your brain needs repetition to develop new neuro pathways. But it will.
Soon your default when angry, frustrated, upset will not be to cut, but go out and run, or plant a garden or something.

Your whole universe is revolving around cutting and the attention you are or not getting from it.

Let's get one thing straight: there is no vanity in self-harm. That is why no one in congratulating you. Have you seen anyone with self-harm scars and talked to them about it?

Please get REAL help and not recognition from strangers.