I'm learning that I can't go back and fix things. And that I should stop beating myself up. After 8 months of troubled sleeping, this past week has been amazing. I've slept...really slept. I wake up in the morning rested and happy. I haven't thought of hurting myself in a week. It makes me happy. I saw my counselor on Thursday. She says I need to write a new script for myself. I've lived for 22 years as the 'hero child'. I've been the strong one, the parental figure to my siblings since I was 9. It's time to change that. It's time to bring the real me out. I've started going out more. Visiting with friends. They've all noticed the change in my attitude. I'm patching things up with my roommates and my sister. Things are slowly starting to fall into place. I'm smiling more. Real smiles. Something I haven't encountered in many years. Things could spiral back out of control. But I do know that I can only fall so far before my friends pick me back up. They'll always be there for me. They think I'm some amazing, strong, independent girl. I don't think they realize just how weak I am right now. And how I'm relying on them to help me realize that my life is worth living.