Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hi. I've just got somethings I wanted to get off my chest. Sorry if this upsets anyone, or if this is kind of dumb. I wanted to talk about how it feels like people don't really care about anything.
Right now, I'm going to university; I'm at the typical age that an American would go to university, so I've been observing a lot of the things that younger people do, and I've found that I don't really like them. I've noticed that a lot of them would just rather cry about all the bad stuff that happens in the world rather than actually fix anything. They're all very cynical, are very much addicted to their phones and sex, and they just don't seem to really care all that much about anything else. I mean, as I said before, they care enough to get sad and complain, and then they just shrug it off and turn it all into some huge, bitter joke. Very few actually express a desire to change anything, and those that do are actually pretty mean. They don't like it if you disagree with them about something, and they can be pretty patronizing. And then there are people who say they want to help people, and then they duck their heads and don't do anything about it when the time arrives. I used to date a guy like this for a while; he used to make all these rousing speeches about how he was better than me because he was going to be a therapist and help depressed teenagers. But once I asked him to pay a visit for a little while so he could help me with my own bout of depression, and he didn't even come in. We just stood out by the door for a while, and I just listened to him while he complained about how his roommate kept wanting to talk to him - and shortly after that rant, he decided it was time to go. I mentioned my depression, and he just said, "Oh, I'm sorry!" and gave me a quick hug before taking his leave. Yeah, boyfriend of the year, but that's not my point. My point is the level of hypocrisy and inconsideration that I've found in people, and it really concerns me.
I guess this is turning out into a big rant against my generation, but I'm beginning to believe that my generation inherited these traits from previous ones. I've noticed that a lot of adults can be just as crappy. My mom's not much better than anyone at my school, except she's not addicted to sex or technology. A month ago, a plumber in his forties just tried to swindle my family of almost a hundred dollars for a repair job he didn't even do. And reaching even farther than that, my grandparents like to talk about how much the world sucks, and how "it's never going to get any better." And it goes even farther than that; for example, after World War II, a lot of people - German officials in particular - who lived only two miles away from Nazi death camps used to say that they "didn't know what was going on." But they had to, you see, because they would be able to smell the furnaces.
It really scares me how crappy people can be, and it scares me even more that it feels like nobody cares about how crappy everything is. Everyone just complains, but they don't seem to want to fix anything. They don't seem to care how much hurt there is in the world; they might cry or getting really bitter about it, but that's all they do. And I was talking to someone today about this, and they just said something like, "Well, it's amost impossibe to change the world." Well, yeah it is, if people keep not giving a shit like this.
I guess I sound like a hypocrite because I'm just complaining like this. But I used to want to help people. I don't want to anymore because I've been having problems with depression and suicidal thoughts, and because I've learned that not a lot of people like my opinions, so I've kind of figured out that people aren't going to listen to me. I guess I sound like a quitter now, too. But with everyone acting like this, and everything going to such shit, and with all the bullies I've met, I guess I've lost a lot of my old hope. If I may say so in my defense, I've been rather hoping that I could write some fiction novels that could change people's perspectives, and I've recently been flirting with the idea of joining law enforcement. However, I'm not very athletic (which I intend on changing soon) and I've heard that policemen have a lot of rather unethical regulations (but those might just be rumors).
I'm sorry if I'm just whining. I'm sorry if I'm just being some stupid, spoiled kid. It's just really upset me lately; to be honest, it's one of the reasons why I've been having suicidal thoughts lately.
Also, I'm sorry if this post is hard to read. I'm usually a pretty alright writer, or so I've been told. I'm not very good at putting my feelings into coherent sentences, though, and I have a very bad habit of rambling. Plus, I'm not going to check for grammar and spelling errors because I'm almost out of time, so I'm sorry about that too.
You're at varsity and probably expect everyone to be an adult. I know I did. But I don't think we are adults at that time. I think at that age we're trying to get past our childhoods, and trying to pretend to be adults, but a lot of things come along that we can't cope with, and so we take refuge in mindless chatter and escape. Like your boyfriend. He simply didn't know what to do so he did a runner. For a lot of guys that age, the fact that they're talking to you at all has them so far out of their comfort zone, they talk all manner of rubbish for fear of clamming up and becoming incapable of speech at all.
In a way you need to look at the people around you as though they're in a foreign language film. Ignoring the words and silly noises they all make - what do they do? Where are they up to in life? Your peers are young. They don't know what they want, they're either unconscious (unaware of themselves) or conscious but anxious. They're getting through the horrors, blocking, pretending, compartmentalising. Doing whatever they can to escape their childhoods and have experiences.
The spoiled ones will be arrogant, the abused ones will be timid. The hedonistic ones will live for the experiences and the responsible ones will look around them at all this in dismay. Like you're doing. :D "Is this my world?" they will say. "what kind of a mess is that?"
Well you're in a zoo for upright monkeys. Life will tone them down. I think it's an age thing more than anything. As you get older and your peers get older, you'll find they become more humble, and generally, in the main, more honest. Those who have gone through hell can become supremely kind.
So don't judge the world from them. As to your family? That's one tiny group of people. For all the dreadful stories you can be told, there are just as many uplifting stories, of kindness and helpfulness. I hadn't seen much kindness from the world until I was in my forties, and then I somehow received a ton of it. I can't explain it, but it came when I truly needed it.
Well, it's actually kind of beautiful if you think of it this way. There are two very important things here I want you to strive to keep in your mind and genuinely focus on.
1. Mankind has some really shitty people, but it's been the same cycle for centuries. Even though through wars and plagues and epidemics of all imagination have happened it was the minority of those who strived for the better outcome, the light in utter and complete darkness that carried mankind through those awful times. It may seem as though our world is going down the shitter, but it's honestly just reconstructing itself in a beautiful way. It's giving us the opportunity to be the ones who carry us into a new generation. It's the opportunity to change others in such a way that their mindset becomes something that cares for the earth rather than the material possessions or social media. Trust in that and be that light that prevents others from walking blindly.
2. It is the most rewarding and extraordinary thing to separate yourself from others in beliefs. It may feel as though you're completely alone in this world when you do your own thing and have your own opinions and when you have no care what others do with their lives or what their opinions are. You are NEVER alone, though. It's just a blissful feeling to be who you want the world to be. If you feel good about your opinions and who you are as a person then you'll see the world changing around you. Who cares what others think? A wolf doesn't concern himself with the opinions of sheep. Be happy with you and what you do and everyone and everything else will fall into place. The awful people will seem like ants and others will notice you through your personality and strength of standing alone. Crowds are fun when you want a conversation, but wars have never been won by the soldiers sitting at the table talking about Facebook news. It was the soldier who never left her post even when the others assured her she could go home. Stand your ground and be you. The most unstoppable force in this world comes from the hearts and minds that inhabit it.
Anyways, I really hope you take something from this. If you don't, hopefully I gave you something to occupy your mind from those dumb people out there in the real world. Keep your chin up and keep marching to the best of your own drum darling! :) best wishes!
Also, I'm sorry for the delayed response. I had a lot of trouble trying to find the right words, as well as the right amount of time. Stupid school.
Bridgie101 - The only thing I disagree with you there is the thing about man being only upright apes. Biologically, we are, but I think that if we dumb ourselves down like that, we lose sight of what we're capable of. At least, that's how I see it. (Although I must admit that calling my situation a "zoo" is basically accurate.) Anyway, I have to say, since I've read your post, I've been thinking a lot about the whole focusing on what people are doing rather than what they're saying, and I've tried to put it into practice. It helps. It most certainly helps.
B_happy, you said some very true things, some of which I've forgotten, others I've never thought about it. I always thought that the world was just building, but that's really more short-term, isn't it? Long-term, it is rebuilding. But anyway. Thank you very much. I'll try not to forgot what you've told me. I hope you do the same.
Muskrattiger -Thank you very much for sharing your story, and what you've learned from it. I agree with you fully. It helps a lot to know that people like you and the other posters on this thread are around. It gives me a lot of hope. Thank you.