I'm so sorry you are so sad and lonely. It seems like your whole world is caving in on you:( I want to encourage you to let your doctor know how you are feeling both mentally and about this person at the front desk who is being less than kind. Just let your doctor know that it is uncomfortable to call because of this person's demenour. You never know, maybe others have complained too and she/he needs to either shape up or ship out. Certainly if you are going through this hard of a time, don't let this person prevent you from getting the care you deserve and need. You sound like a gentle and caring person. Sometimes people that are as caring as you are get taken advantage of and it sounds as if your boyfriend may be doing just that. If he is refusing to work then he can find his own place to crash at without adding to your financial basket of problems. I know this is a lot easier said than done because you probably have feelings for him and a strong bond but please know that in every relationship there is a balance and it doesn't sound like the scale is even remotely even. Try talking to your boyfriend about your concerns...a half way decent guy will at least hear you out and try to mend his ways. Take everything else bit by bit and things will eventually start to change for the better. Let us know how things go.

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.

What does the receptionist say to make you feel bad? Or is it just her attitude that does it? Either can feel horrible.

Personally, I believe you should give the deadbeat an option. Tell him he has 60 days to be working or get out. Don't spend anymore money on him from this point forward.

Getting the problem out of your life will probably help you to refocus on yourself and the thing you want to do.

My best to you! xx

Welcome to DS! You definitely have a lot on your plate. I'm sure you are taking great care of your new cat, introducing her slowly to your other cat. Try not to take your boyfriend's criticisms to heart. It sounds like he's just being a jerk; he probably feels like a failure because he's living off you, so he takes it out on you! That's not fair and you don't deserve it. I agree with nursecolleen; if you can, talk to your boyfriend and if he won't be supportive maybe he does need to find his own place. He's running you into the ground. Also, I agree with the suggestion to call your doctor's office, and tell him about the receptionists. I guarantee he'll be grateful to get honest feedback about them, because if they are rude to you, they are hurting his business!

Hi MyMeko

Etherize couldn't have said it better! I totally agree with her. I would have said the same thing. By the way, I am a huge animal lover and that makes me see how compassionate of a person you are.

Besides your compassion, you seem like a wonderful, giving and caring person. You are NOTa failure!

Please keep in touch with us here in the group. There are so many great people here to give you support, sweetie. ~Nay xo

Dear My Meko,

Thank you for sharing your feelings honestly. I relate in some ways to your situation. I have some similarities in mine. It is such a challenge to have any one AFGO Another Fing Growth Experience - like mental health, finance, jobs, family, significant others, pets, children, disease....but when we have compound growth experiences happening all at one time, it feels like such a whammy....They all seem to easily spiral one one another like a bunch of balsl of yarn in lots of knots, and working to untangle one thread at a time, seems like more knots get made. I have 2 dogs and 2 cats that are very difficult to keep up after all the accidents, pet hair, breaking things, vomiting on carpet, etc. I have had many stressful moments over this. Arguing with my spouse is something I am trying to refrain from as much as possible, because I did that for years, and it didn't help our situation, and I don't want to live that way anymore. But, sometimes trying to approach a touchy subject that triggers either of us can end less than in a satisfactory way of communicating. When I have felt like I have taken on too much, and I have also felt like a complete failure, the inability to SAY NO to being co-dependent in my nature and a care taker of others is the honest answer I have to discover to realize MY part in the problem....It is still such a work in progress for me to set boundaries and limit my involvement with other people and other projects....then I sometimes experience loneliness and sadness from trying to protect myself from too much activity or unhealthy interactions.....so I admit, this is a fine balancing act that I am still teetering on as of this day. I have also found myself hiding alot in bed, the place I feel safest, then only my own negative mind chatter is the only thing I need to work on quieting. I am new to DS and in less than 2 weeks, I am finding this to be a missing link that I needed so desperately, a confidential place to turn to compassionate people who are here to heal and support each other thru....maybe sometimes we will encounter not so helpful posts or not so compassionate people, but for me, taking the risk of revealing myself and my issues is worth while. Although, I really want real life sit down and have coffee and talk and "get each other" kind of friends in my own local community, and I am reaching out slowly, paced, to the best of my ability, that is just not happening too much in my neck of the woods. But here, where the world is our forum, and there are so many people reaching out all hours of the day, here, there is much hope. Just to be given the opportunity to gather in heart, mind and spirit online with others who listen and relate to us, and maybe even share their experiences is such a positive experience. I hope you find the strength you need to get through today, knowing somewhere out there, many people are thinking of you and caring.

oh, my meko, I forgot one more thing....as much as I love dogs and cats, I keep telling myself that the only way for me to stop living in the destruction and frustration is for me to stop bringing the helpless, adorable cute little creatures home. No more for me. I can help find them another home, but not mine. My home is full to capacity with pets and any more would be beyond unhealthy....a very hard thing for me to ask for determination to stick to, because I have compassion, but I have to learn compassion for myself, I can't save the world or every person or pet in it....I can only be of service to others if I choose to save myself!