Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I just dont know how to handle my life anymore. My husband and I have been together for 17 years. When we met I had very low self esteem, so I did not realize in the beginning that he was verbally abusive and manipulative. Over time he isolated me from my family and friends. Then the abuse became physical. If he wasnt abusing me, he was ignoring me. He would rush me off to bed at night so he could stay up drinking alone. After several years of this I ended up talking to an ex on the internet. I then ended up cheating on my husband. I told my husband about it and we decided to go to counciling. That was six years ago. He was still very abusive up until last year when he finally quit drinking. The problem is that he is still verbally abusive. When I am not doing what he wants, he gets mad and yells, he makes me feel stupid, he talks to me like I am one of the kids and actually expects me to ask permission before I spend money. I am not talking big purchases, I understand discussing those things, I mean five dollars at the gas station. I work too. I have two college degrees and I make good money. We have two daughters and we all feel like we walk on egg shells when he is home. He says hes going to work on it. The problem is even though I have forgiven him for all of the physical and emotional abuse over the years, one time being him kicking me so hard in the leg it left a golf ball size lump on my leg and he did that while I was holding our then 1 year old daughter. He cannot forgive me. He says he has but he uses every opportunity to bring it up and make me feel bad all over again. He says I am his best friend and he wants to be with me forever still, but I do not know if we should be. I have tried to leave several times but then he begs and tells me it will be different and I just want it to be for the kids. I know staying together for the kids is not a good reason to stay together but I keep giving him another chance because of the girls. Thanks for listening.
-
It's National Doughnut Day!Which three would you like? (never mind the calories, fat, or sugar content; just go with what you would pick if none of that mattered and whatever health issues you might have that would keep you from eating one in real life can be cast aside for this exercise as well... have at it!)
-
Hi All.... It's great to see all of the new people joining the site... I'm loving it!!...smileI'm not sure if people are aware that if you don't have Bipolar Disorder but have a loved one who has the disorder we do have a board for people to go to in order to share their experiences and seek friendship, support or adviseIt's the Friends and Family of Bipolar Board.... I hope you'll take a...
I was cleaning my 10 yr olds room one afternoon and his Journal was open on his bed, he had written, "I'm scared when mom and dad argue, dad has beer all the time. I get yelled at but I don't know what I did wrong. Is it my fault they argue? How do I find out what I did wrong."
My knees literally went out from under me and I lost it, nothing but a ball of tears on the floor. Due to my traumatic childhood I had always kept my children safe, always made sure nobody ever came near them or did anything to them....and to read what my innocent child wrote about being scared in his home and blaming himself.....I've never felt like such a failure in my life.
Needless to say, I left my husband 2 weeks later, took my 10 yr old and moved into a Condo 9 miles away, my 19 yr old staid at the house with my ex husband. We always think for some reason that it's best to stay together for the kids, but I don't think we ever really think about what hell we're putting the kids through by staying together.
Take your kids, move and get them in an environment where they are safe, where you are safe, and have the Courts make your husband get his act together if he wants to spend time with them.....if you don't, your situation is not going to get better.
Take care,
Kat
I know you've been together a long time, and this makes you feel for him, despite his nature. You know he will be in tremendous pain when you leave him.
It will be impossible for you to leave him all by yourself. You need to confess to a couple of friends in real life, people who can offer real support, so they can help you pull away from this man. Given his history of abuse, you also need to file for full custody of your daughters.
However, when I say "friends", I don't mean "your ex". Your judgement is impaired, and you don't want to take rash steps into rebound relationships. Your ex may not be the abusive type, and at the moment he may seem like a tremendous improvement, but there's a reason why you're not together anymore, and it will surface again.
This is going to be a journey, but you know you want to live free, and not in a cage, even if this cage has become so familiar and homey to you. No human being wants to live in a cage. So leave the cage.
I have been there too, was blessed to get away. Totally unpredictable violence. Mental and physical.
50 ways to leave your lover! (Paul Simon song)