Oh man that's rough. You're gonna be ok. The beginning is always hardest, but sounds like you're working through it creatively. Soon you'll be remembering all the good times you had with Fred. Next time you're with your friends make a toast to Fred.

I lost my dog several years ago- it is heartbreaking and mourning as you would any other family member.... It took me a bit but I did go out and get another dog. It was even about 2 years later I was in the pet store and just broke down over my baby (I brought him home at 6 weeks and he was my last child as I looked at it)- so as you go out to humane societies or finding a new trained service animal- look for one that reminds you in personality of your baby and when you're ready bring home your new baby. Yes, you will miss and mourn your baby- talk to your new baby about his/her sibling.

No disrespect, I've never felt this loss with a human family member. Another dog, I don't think I'll ever replace Fred. I feel like I failed in the end.

you were sick in hospital ....not your fault ....I know it is hard not to blame your self ....but some times things just happen for a reason and we don't know what that reason is .....it was ..your pups time .....our animals become family we need to rember the good times the way they were ...there careter .....we lost our puppy and still call our new pup by the one we lost name ....every now and than ....we need to go through our greaving ......acknolage ...what they ment to us ......and know they are still with..us looking after us .......you loved ...your pup with all your heart ......you made you pup family .....you have nothing to feel guilty for ........take very good care of your self ...I will keep you in my prayers ......God bless

You are grieving your loss, an indication of deep loving for. Take your time with it, and be gentle with yourself, Fred would have wanted that.

Did he die of a tick bite? I have something to say about this and I hope it helps. I've had a lot of pets over the years, mostly cats. some I feel I did everything I could and when they died it did give me some peace of mind and some died when I didn't do everything I could whether I was aware of it or not, it still made me feel horrible guilt. one thing I have learned over the years is that the way my pets died didn't really matter in the end. we do the best we can, we love them, and if things don't go exactly as planned or everything possible was not done on schedule or whatever, that's part of life. it's bound to happen. I have been racked with guilt over things that have happened with some of my pets but in the end, looking back I realize that I did the best I could and the main thing was that I loved them. my intentions were always good and I know that yours were too. you aren't super human. if you were in the hospital then of course you couldn't have done their flea and tick meds and how would you have even known that something so drastic could happen if you didn't anyway. you absolutely shouldn't beat yourself up over this. it's too bad but it's not your fault! I gave my cat a steroid one time when he shouldn't have had it. this was partly the vets fault but I should have looked into it further and it damaged his heart. long story but it shortened his life. there are other things that have happened over the years that were my fault. maybe this is hard for you to see now but you aren't to be blamed, you did the best you could and it sounds like Fred had an amazing life with you. you had no bad intentions. you are only human. what's left after this feeling of guilt passes will just be all the love and good memories you had with Fred. I'm pretty sure of this. It's always been the case with me. I'm sorry to go on so long. I'm a huge animal lover and I totally get how you feel and I don't want you to feel that way. absolutely you should go on and take care of Duke and the other animals that will be in your life and will need you so much. also, I've noticed that guilt seems to go hand in hand with grief and loss no matter what the situation is. I don't think you will have to live with this feeling the rest of your life. I think it will pass. give it some time. take care.

Brooke, I am so sorry. I lost my best puppy friend last year, and I still cry often, but time has helped some. I hope there are times you can feel Fred's presence with you. I wish I could have known him.