Why do you feel it's making things worse? Does it make you obsess over your words?

They do say Better out than in and if you can give voice to your thought it halves their power.

Journaling is a very good tool for coping and dealing with Depression. It can feel overwhelming at times because your taking all of the feelings and emotions and stuff in your head and your putting it on paper, you're giving it an existence. Some people find it helpful to take their most painful thoughts and feelings write them on paper and then burn them or tear them up. Giving yourself a finality to the feelings and emotions. So you don't feel like there's just an open gaping hole.

Doing some deep breathing exercises before you Journal, getting into a calm relaxing position, so you're not writing in a stressed state, can be helpful. Try keeping a Journal of just your daily activities, how you feel in general, etc. For the stronger emotions, feelings, etc. write them on sheets of paper and keep them separate so if you want you can tear them up or burn them and give yourself a sense of finality a sense that these feelings were in your head and causing you hurt and stress, and now you're taking them out, you've given them a physical presence and they can't hurt you anymore.

And remember there's no wrong or right way to Journal, it doesn't have to make sense, it doesn't have to be poetic or a sense of rhyme or grammatically correct....at times I literally just pour words out of my head. This is a private coping tool just for you, it can be what you need it to be....my journal has doodles in it if I don't feel like putting words down, it's mixed. So don't let yourself think that you're doing it wrong okay.

Hang in there,
Kat

Thank you for replying everyone. I think I've worked out why it's so scary for me... you could say that I've been at one of the lowest points and so writing how I'm feeling and my thoughts are I guess very overwhelming. I'm sad that I feel like this. I'm sad how my thoughts have changed... I use to be the positive happy girl who was always smiling and loving life- I know that's unrealistic 24/7 but that's just how I've always been, so now it's like my head is out of the clouds and I see things and feel things that I'm not use to... like I have a voice. But , it's scares me because at the moment it is very depressing. Not happy and feeling lonely and hurt and struggling with just normal day to day things because my head just won't stop. I have young kids that I need to look after too and some days I just wanna stay in bed and cry but I can't- I have to put on that fake smile and just keep going allllll the time....

Fictionalized it. Turn it into a story. Instead of, "I went to work", write," She walked thru a pouring rain, so busy with her thoughts and her hopes for the day that she almost failed to notice that her shoes were gushing water and her hair was dripping. She had been depressed and anxious for weeks and this grey, cold day promised to make it worse. She tried, as she struggled thru the rain, to build inside herself some strength to help her face the day, but like the grey skies, her mood darkened and she felt herself sagging and weakening under the dark depression she knew so well. "

Betty - do you earn a living at this? That was amazing.

thumpa - there's no expert in this field. Only people with ideas that work for some others. I personally could never stand writing in a diary. I love writing my journal on here though. I guess because I get to talk to actual people, and get feedback. A private journal to yourself can be a spiral downwards. If you're lonely and miserable, having your head in a book writing about being lonely and miserable doesn't always help. It can help I believe if you have suffered bad experiences. Writing your memoirs might help, but I can't imagine with small kids you're at the stage of life to want to do that. Going to the zoo and making playdoh and having other mums over with their kids to bake instant pudding biscuits - now, that might be a better idea....

If you are broke I have many recipes for poor women's how to feed kids recipes. PM me. I will friend you.

I do want to say this though. You're training children to know about reality. And you can't teach them what it is to be real if you put on a fake act. Be who you are with them and let them be who they are with you. Never ever sell out on being real with them. It's the most important thing a mother can do is let her children know her.

If you want to cry, you go ahead and cry. Your kids will probably come and give you a big cuddle and love you all up, and then you'll feel better. ok? You may not know how to answer when they say 'what's wrong, mummy?' but you can maybe say 'mummies have sad days sometimes and they cry and need love and cuddles from their children' or something like that.