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One day this cop pulls over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license.
''You cops should get it together" she said, "One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it.''
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The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?" "There is," he replied. "Breakfast."
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Q: What do you have when you hold two little green balls in your hand?
A: Kermit the frog's undivided attention!
:)
''You cops should get it together" she said, "One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it.''
-----------------------------------------------------
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?" "There is," he replied. "Breakfast."
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Q: What do you have when you hold two little green balls in your hand?
A: Kermit the frog's undivided attention!
:)
The woman whom he'd slept with said "put this chalk behind your ear and tell your wife the truth."
He trusted the woman. Put the chalk behind his ear and went home to confront his wife.
As he got threw the door his wife shouted at him asking where he had been at such an ungodly hour.
He looked her in the eye and told her the truth. He had cheated on her not moments ago.
His wife came closer. Grabbed the chalk and said "STOP LYING YOU IDIOT! I KNOW YOU WERE AT THE PUB PLAYING DARTS AGAIN!"
here's one:
Indians Don't Use Saddles!!
A woman from New York was
driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down.
An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed from the
surrounding hills and canyon walls.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service-station attendant.
"Nothing," the woman answered "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms round his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."
God grant me a vacation to make bearable what I can't change. A friend to make it funny and the wisdom to never get my knickers in a knot, because it solves nothing and makes me walk funny.
Hugs GB