Yes. I will remember and remind myself that I'm a survivor . thanks

I remember, not so long ago, when I had three friends who, one by one, in different cities and very different situations, all developed cases of major depression.

My first emotion was to feel so badly that I wanted to help them, any way I could. My heart really went out to them, more than I can express.

I read everything I could get my hands on. I asked gentle questions (sometimes I got answers, sometimes, blank stares.) They way they seemed so distant and unresponsive frankly scared me.

And little did I know, or suspect, that I was on that same slippery slope myself, already developing sleeping and focus problems.

But I tried in every way I knew how to be non-judgemental and open and caring. And yet, everything that came out of my mouth just seemed to be so wrong.

Because, even with the best intentions, and deep love and huge brains, it's almost impossible for ANYONE to put themselves in our shoes. No one can know what all of this is like, what we go through, what it does to us, how we struggle to cope. Even people who love us very much, and who may feel they "know us, inside and out", and therefore "what's good for us".

So give that friend a little room; encourage them perhaps if they want to learn mmore about all of this to get on the internet & research it; or pick up several books. And have that person try seriously to think outside the box of their own perceptions, and just LISTEN. That is, if they really say they want to help.

I've been on the giving -and- the receiving end of advise, now. I would steer him towards the internet blogs that list "What never to Say to a Depressed/Anxious person" type things. (Alternately, as well, the "What TO say to a depressed/anxious person" blogs.) Let him or her do a bit of sensitivity training before they think they can become advise dealers.

The more you understand how complicated and difficult life can actually be for so many people, is when you develop a bit of real compassion. Being smart is not enough in this world.

Hugs, hon. OOX

Well said, SkiesOnFire!

Well skies on fire that was well said. I'm going to look up some of those blogs. Thanks so much !!

you didnt get up one day and deside today i will have depreshion and anziety ................neather did i so how can eneyone expect that we can eneyone expect that they can just tell us to smarten up and shake it off and you dont need those pills they are probly your problem ..............and this has hapened to me by very caring people in my family and said much nicer ..............................it is just about imposible for a person who has not been through depreshion or anziiety...to........understand just what we go through and even though we try and explain it they just can get it ...............god bless

i am happy he isent going to be giving you eney more advise and if he would of said that to me i would of said good ..........lol....................ilike skies answer ........god bless

Thanks muskrattiger. We certainly didn't make this choice. But we are learning coping skills. We are trying to take care of business. One doctor said of his wife and son that anyone who suffers from anxiety have to be the most courageous people on earth. He has spent many years studying anxiety to help his family. I believe we are very courageous.

i also belive we are very curagous to live and fight depreshion and anziety every day .............we might seam weak to others but it takes a very strong person to stick it out and fight it ..................if they only knew .......god bless

Hugs, poppiesandroses. We've all been there in one way or another.

On the receiving end, I've gotten the entire gamut of weird and upsetting responses/advice from people. Basically, it's a signal that although there's much more conversation about depression and anxiety, out in the open, than ever before, there's still a TON of misinformation out there.

I now only have one relative who remotely desires to truly understand what I face everyday. She stays in regular touch, and I am enormously grateful for her.

Hopefully, for future generations, the stigma and misunderstandings about causes will all disappear, once medications make the advances I'm certain are planned.

Hugs, and sympathy.