Yes, I'm quite young. I may be 23, but I feel so much older. I've already seen and lived through so much.

I dunno it seems most of the rehabs suggest AA but I never did rehab....I did psych ward because I was drugged out Nutzo Schizophrenic......I did 18months of a long term psych hospital including the local psych ward first for 6months....the hospital was and is in Hartford Ct. Called the Institute of Living....I was always on high functioning ward there and they have lower functioning locked wards too....they body bag people who act out which means they wrapped them in a big blanket type thing and hauled them away to the locked wards....I knew one gal who got body bagged....wet sheets I think was part of that....not sure I didnt experience it but I did stop my pot habit there and in the local psych ward....kept drinking until almost being raped by my drinking buddy one night.....on Guam....you know what I needed my friends help and that is where I went....12step programs X 2.....

not saying the proposed idea to help you is that but the Institute of living is still there....40acres of down town Hartford CT.....maybe if you have insurance they would agree to see you?

I don't find that joke funny.
At all.
In fact, you triggered me. To a very upsetting point.
Thanks.

i don't think he's making a joke. i think he's being completely honest about the lengths he had to go to in his journey to finding wellness.

DT's kill a hell of a lot more people than any other withdrawl, including opiates, so there is a lot of worrying stuff going on. i think you need professional help too. like, right freakin' now! type of help.

OP:

You need to get the Allan Carr book.

What people here don't get is that drinking is a CURE. It's a cure for something, and the side effects (cirrosis, death) are unfortunate unattractive side-effects of this cure that you endure, because you need the cure.

The depression is the disease that you're using the alcohol to cure.

So you do need, whilst sitting there keeping yourself topped up, to read the Allan Carr easy way to stop drinking.

Feel free to pour a drink while you read it.

And while you're doing that, try to identify the depression, and how it feels when it hits. Focus on it, think hard about it, and really get into it.

Try that and see how you go. Allan Carr's book. It's a damn fine start. And it's not feckin religious.

Currentstruggle:
I wish I had an answer for you then I would have one for myself. I have struggles too that I have not been able to get a grip on. I have grandchildren older than you.

I begin every day with the thought that This is the first day of the rest of my life and prepare a plan to get through this one day without succumbing to that struggle but some stumbling block always appears and by the end of the week I become my own worst enemy.. AGAIN!

I am in therapy. I do attend church services and volunteer there one evening a week. I mentor a female prison inmate in another state through the mail. I work part time. I am in good health. I keep a daily journal.

But it seems no matter how carefully I plan, or how diligently I try, something will happen to pull me off my plan and I feel I have to escape.

So I do know your struggle. I wrote all of this because maybe some of the things I have done and am doing will help you

I'm another person who lost a sibling who was an alcoholic. My first reaction to anyone who has an addiction is to literally beg them to get help because knowing that someone else is going through what he went through just tears me up. You appear super intelligent....and I mean that sincerely....you know how dangerous addition can be, so no begging from me. But sweetie, I do hope you find some peace....what ever peace means to you. Hugs.

My feelings exactly Diane. I am now super sensitive to people talking about alcohol because of watching what my brother went through and how he wound up. :-(

How are you doing currentstruggle?