Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have a 1 year old son with my boyfriend of almost 9 years. I'm so miserable. I work 40 hours a week and get almost no help from my boyfriend when it comes to taking care of OUR son. My bf comes home from work and immediately gets on his cell phone to watch tv series or movies. I feel completely neglected. He completely signs off us and wants to do nothing. He has a hard labor job (granite fabricator) and I'm an accountant (desk job). He often uses his physical job to excuse himself from any responsibility he has at home. He is always either too tired or says it's my job to take care of the baby. Funny thing is that although he has the hard labor job I'm the one making more money and paying most of the bills because he also is horrible at managing money and won't let me, the accountant, help him manage his money. He also won't quit smoking (bad habit he picked up about 2 years ago so it's not like he is a long time smoker). He also constantly yells and screams at me whenever he is upset and doesn't care that his son is there witnessing his anger management issues. I'm just so done with it all. I want to leave him but I love him at the same time and I'm scared of being a single mom and being alone and I don't want to take my son's dad away. It's been 9 years of the same crap and I don't see any improvement on his part. What do I do??? I'm so scared of losing my family.
-
I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
-
check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
Take all the time you need to make a GOOD, GOOD, GOOD plan, .. then leave his cowardly ass and sue him BIG TIME for child support. Get a good lawyer. If he doesn't pay, .. get him thrown in jail.
He is more than a lousy Father ... he is NO Father .. and he is abusive to you, and he needs a good whoopin' ... at least. I can't STAND jerks like him. He doesn't DESERVE someone like you OR that baby. He doesn't deserve ANYTHING.
MAKE A PLAN ... and get the hell away from him ... and sue him for all the child support you can .. with a good lawyer. It is not easy ... but you MUST do this. You cannot spend your life with someone like this ... and neither can that baby.
I had to wear braces on my arms and legs to help realign my bones. I also suffered mental trauma as a result of the abuse. I have add, emotional stunted growth, and I am unsocial and single all my life with lacks of social skills. Is this what you want for your baby? And don't you dare give me that crap that you don't think your bf would get physically abusive, I've heard that line before.
If you stay with him, then you would be no better then my bio mother. Sorry if I got personal with this, I really can't afford to be objective, when it involves another baby who could be abused just as easily as I was. Make the right choice, and there is only one right choice and you know it.
My mom was pretty much a crappy babysitter if I have to describe her. Emotionally distant, manipulative, victim mentality. My dad certainly had his issues over the years as well but the bond I had with him as a child was something that I always treasured and allowed me to forgive him for his faults. Your son will remember that you're the true parent. They remember early. I certainly do.
For your sake and for your son's sake, make a plan to leave. Reach out to networks that support domestic abuse survivors . You're an accountant. Which means you're highly skilled and educated. You don't need this man in your life. Sure you probably have to deal with him for the rest of your sons childhood for visitation and child support but it will be so much better for your son if he's not in the home with you. I know I would've been better off with my mother not in the home.
Like someone else already stated, you're his family. You're his parents. You're the one who is completely devoted to him and the one that matters. This guy he's just a sperm donor. Not a good enough reason to keep them around especially if he's abusive.
Do you have a therapist, if you do start there. If you don't, get one. They can provide you with the resources you need and the right contacts to follow up on in order to make your move. I really hope you take to heart what everyone is saying here. A lot of us have experienced this either as an adult or as a child. We don't want to see any more children suffer. And we don't want to see you suffer either. Best of luck to you. Please follow up with us and let us know how everything works out.