Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Two things about this really. I'm sorry if this post is a bit of a jumble i'm not good at the moment but I need some feedback from others.
As I said i'm in a bad place. My treatment team have basically said that they believe my depression and suicidality to be because of institutionalization.
Questions:
1) Does this mean if they think that, they don't take my suicidality seriously? They think I'm faking to stay in their care?
2) What's your experiences of this term being used on you?
3) What are you supposed to do with someone who is suicidal but is also at risk of institutionalization? Surely discharging me will make things worse? Is institutionalized life for a little while until stable not better than being dead because you can't take it anymore?
4) If you've experienced this term in your case, did it also make you feel bad? I do. I feel literally dirty when someone says I have become ****** . I feel like if it's true it's my fault...soley my fault and I'm bad through and through for that and so should not be helped at all. Did others have this reaction? I'm hoping some didn't and they can give me the rational thoughts behind it because I'm really not very ration at the moment.
x-Bliss-x
As I said i'm in a bad place. My treatment team have basically said that they believe my depression and suicidality to be because of institutionalization.
Questions:
1) Does this mean if they think that, they don't take my suicidality seriously? They think I'm faking to stay in their care?
2) What's your experiences of this term being used on you?
3) What are you supposed to do with someone who is suicidal but is also at risk of institutionalization? Surely discharging me will make things worse? Is institutionalized life for a little while until stable not better than being dead because you can't take it anymore?
4) If you've experienced this term in your case, did it also make you feel bad? I do. I feel literally dirty when someone says I have become ****** . I feel like if it's true it's my fault...soley my fault and I'm bad through and through for that and so should not be helped at all. Did others have this reaction? I'm hoping some didn't and they can give me the rational thoughts behind it because I'm really not very ration at the moment.
x-Bliss-x
What can they do if you want to kill yourself? Yes, they can put you into protective custody, .. if they are convinced you are going to do it, but they cannot keep you in such custody forever.
What do you want them to do?
...you know, I don't acutally know. No that's a lie actually. I want them to keep me safe. Killing myself is all I think about at the moment. The only difference is the varying degrees of deciding it's the 'right' thing to do.
I just don't feel like they are helping me but I don't know what else they can do. They wont up my meds because i'm at a low weight. I can't put on weight because I can't cope with the depression, and I can't stop feeling suicidal without sorting all this out!
Am not sure, its been to long ago since I read about effects of institutionalization.
Maybe its better than vacation w rm service and full staff to meet all our needs without us haveing to learn to stand on our own two feet and we get to point we dont want to become independant and our minds become clouded- which effects our depression and way of thinking.
As a precaution and because I do not wish to possibly cause my family & friends unwarrent stress, I hired a in home care service and built a net work.
I have a morning support buddy who also enjoys fishing and I have a PM support buddy who occassional stops by but mostly calls to make sure i took my PM medication.
I have lawn service that comes by at minimun once a mo.. I keep a cooler filled w soda's and bottle water and a note pad attached w pen to lid for lawn guy.
I also have dogs and my neighbours know my schedule - as what time during day I take my dogs out and last call out befor bed time.
I also go to local library on Wednesday's depending on weather. yep they will ask my friends about me if they dont see me on wed's. so on & so on.
Anywho its not that they dont take you seriously - they do but they can not do the things that you half to do for yourself and no one else can do but you for your own well being.
Keep us posted on your recovery.
Take care & be good to yourself for yourself and for others and for us on DS.
Thank you for your replies. It's such a stressful position to be in. I have a feeling they are pretty stressed over trying to make the decisions too. I can think logically sometimes and realise I can't become dependent...I know that. But then I get what I can only describe as a 'wave of despair' come over me and all the suicidality floods back. I have no doubts that if things stay like this, I WOULD do it. And this is what scares me and is making me ask for help. If I don't ask for the help now, it'll be too late. I'm hardly going to ask for help when I've decided I definately want out, I'm just going to do it or else someone might try and stop me.
You could make about EVERYTHING so much simpler, set yourself up for happiness, unload a tremendous weight, and have a somewhat normal life if you decided, committed, promised, elected, vowed ... whatever freekin word you need to use .. that you are NOT going to hurt or kill yourself .. EVER. It is just not going to happen. You are too precious to do that. You have a right to a normal life like everyone else does. Ending your life would be throwing away something if immense value and you are WAY above that.
Maybe you have a mental condition that causes you to obsess about suicide, .. I don't know. I may be asking a cripple to walk. I personally do not think so. If NOT, dump the even remotest possibility of hurting yourself in any way. Set that heavy burden down on the road of life, take a deep breath of RELIEF, and walk on down the road leaving it sitting there. You don't need it. It have done been dumped.
21 year-old young woman. I am 62 1/2 .. life is not that bad. It is fascinating, .. many things happen throughout a life. You have many wonderful things waiting for you.
Medication and therapy, and hospitalization is going to succeed when you do what I suggest anyway. That is where 'they' are trying to get you. Why not do it now and save all the time and turmoil? You know life is worthwhile. Thinking that it is not is not worth the time spent doing it. You can live with NO limits. Death IS a limit.
Open yourself to what I am saying and step through the shining doorway. It happens in a second. There it is waiting for you, and you do not have to die to get there. It is right at your fingertips.
That's all I have for you. It is everything you need. Step through and instantly begin being VERY, VERY good to yourself. You are worthy of immense happiness. You can enter immediately.
I thinks that its great that your in a day care situration. I wish I had know that such service was available afew yrs ago when I was dismissed from the hospital. I really wasnt up to conducting business but I manage to locate an in home care serive that could understand my babble and yep I hired them to take care of me and to assist me with my obtain a new life & life style,plus they also can reconize tell tell signs of my going into darker stage of my daily depression cycle. I know length that each phases of cycle last and I know when to have 3rd care provider to temporary live with me - while I pull myself out of the darker stage. I have 3rd person to temporary reside with me as a precaution for our minds are bogged down in fog during that stage - which is temporary and just part of cycle.
My illness is just a part of my life.
WanderingVet, when I seen your icon-photo above your screen name, I instantly thought of golf & springing chesse,lol