Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Im scared im gonna lose my life if i carry on being like this each day. Thinking of death a hell of a lot. I dont know what to doo docs increased my meds now. Im useless im stupud why do i deserve this life. I dont. I cant carry on much longer. why didnt i just die the first time. why did the police get me before i jumped why did thy manage to catch me so so quick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! emoticon feeel like im in a black hole just cant climb out of it!!!!.sorrry peeps
I know that frustration of being saved etc. I know a few people who tried and were "saved". All have been physically or mentally damaged by the attempt so perhaps you are lucky at least in that way?
Here's a tale of a man I met in a mental ward over 20 years ago. You won't believe it.
This fellow grew up believing he was an orphan as he was in and out of foster homes and orphanages and so on. In his early 20's he travelled interstate and met a lady with whom he eventually fell in love and married.
They moved back to the city he came from, where I was when I met him. They had a child but the child was dreadfully affected. I can't remember the illness the child had but it was genetic, inherited. The child could hardly move, talk or do anything.
They loved the child anyway and tried to get medical help and all the rest. Then they were told they had the same genes, they were brother and sister so the child was as it was due to the mixing of brother and sister.
The man I met in the mental home tried suicide. Took 400 paraceutamols apparently. Didn't kill him but he was so mentally impaired it was too sad to talk to him much. I still can't get him out of my mind.
It was nothing he did that caused that to happen, just chance. But it destroyed him. I never met the wife/sister, don't know what happened to her, he never said.
I'm weeping now as I write this, it just came back to mind after all these years due to your post.
Please, take the chances you have and live, that's why we are here. I, too tried and failed but I too was lucky and did no damage.
Strength to you and try to focus on one thought.
The suicidal thoughts ARE temporary. They will come and go likely but they are always temporary. For me temporary meant months at times but I grew to know they were just thoughts, not real life.