My father is dying.  I don't know how I feel about it.  There's so much anger that I never expressed, because it would hurt him too much.  I was constantly mentally abused with "Christianity", he was a "preacher " and was always trying to present as perfect, and he was an angry man.  He shouted his anger in church at a world that treated him poorly, and expected me to give him my soul, not God, him, and my mother was the same way.  I used to care, but I feel myself becoming numb and indifferent, with all his morals he wishes to shove down everyone's throat, that aren't morals at all.  I know he has done something in his past that he must be horribly ashamed of, and has spent his life trying to make up for it.  I feel angry.  I never expected to feel this way at this point in life, but he and my mother have robbed me of everything, I can't love, I don't trust, I feel like I have to fix everyone, help them through their troubles, and never dare to ask for help myself.