Well, being assertive is just another way of saying and doing what you want and not being pushed around by others. It's learning to say No and being proactive in your life. You can only do that with practice and by doing it. You might want to try writing down things that you will do or say in being more assertive, that way you kind of do it before you do it.

hmmm okay. thats the thing i cant say or do it. hell it took me 15mins to hand a cv in for a job.

hi there. what do you want to be assertive with? well, it could be smiling more or saying hello to a passing stranger. or good mornng.

there's nothing wrong with being an introspective shy person, unless it bothers you or you miss out on things you want.

i'd also say, do things that you enjoy, that'll bring out the feelings thta are really you and maybe you won;t feel shy.

state your opinion if you're given the chance too. not sure if this helps. being on this forum is a good place to start. like, when someone asks for help or advice you can try to help them, i think thatcounts.

good luck hon.

It is ok to say no, disagree and discuss.
Be assertive over little things to build up your confidence. There is nothing wrong with looking after you.

thanks ill keep these in mind.

can't help you, when I try to be assertive it seems to be mistaken for aggression.

hmm. i am not very good with conversations with people if i am trying to make a friend.

I'd ask you in what ways are you feeling not assertive? Are you the girl who does too much because people ask you to do stuff all the time? Are you talking about not talking to a guy you like because you're too afraid he'll shoot you down?

I like to use mantras. Yes, I know it sounds lame, but after a while (might be a long while but still worth a try) it works. Like for example, I am a spend-aholic. So when I'm going through a store I'm constantly looking at my items and re-evaluating, do I need that? Will I use that this week? and if the answer is no, i put it back.

I used to be the type of person who said yes to everything. Next time someone calls you because they KNOW you'll do something they don't want to do, say no. Tell yourself, I wont be inconvenienced damnit!!!!

If dating is what you're looking for, thats a whole new set of rules and I'd say get your confidence up by making a list of things about you that are friggin AWESOME and go over that list for a while and eventually you'll believe it.

You can do this or you wouldn't be asking. See, you're already outdoing yourself!

A lot depends on just how much trouble you have being assertive. Your therapist should be able to come up with some things you can try, did they give you any suggestions?

If you have a lot of trouble, then you might want to do something as simple as going to a fast food place and asking for a burger YOUR way. It is not important what changes that you ask for, but rather that you ask for changes!

Another thing you can try here is to engage in debate. Defending your ideas may be a good exercise. You can always put a disclaimer that you are working on your assertiveness, and people may be happy to work with you.

Who knows, a topic like "Is Lady Ga Ga the new Madonna?" may lead to fun exchanges!

Hope some of this hits the mark!

lol am the quiet type in all ways. i end up becoming wht i think people want but not forward i mean if my mum ask for cupa i make it 2 keep her happy.
in reply to rebekah

thanks pepper man it took me 15 mins 2 talk myself into handin a cv in once lol i planned a speech lol but i jst said heres my cv byelol