Why 9 months? How abusive is your father? Physical? verbal? What exactly does he do? If it's as drastic as it seems you might want totell someone about it.

It says in the machine you're 20. Maybe you can leave home, make a fresh start. ?

Are you or someone pregnant?

>>I will piss on my dad's grave

He may get the last word. Desecrating a grave in most states is a felony.

I'm sorry, I was just venting after being used as a verbal punching bag once again. I'm a guy so I can't get pregnant, and I'm gay so I can't get anybody pregnant. It's a complicated family. My mom has Stockholm Syndrome towards him.

I hope you can get out of there. Take care.

Do you have a job?

I am sorry your dad is using you as an emotional punching bag.

But I agree with the others, why do you have to wait 9 months to get out of there? Are you waiting for your 21st birthday?

I hope you can get out of there too. :((

hugs~

LMT

You know, I received some awesome mma style bearings from my dad as a child esp after my mom died... I was 9 when that happened so I received a good many a beatings. When I was younger I was waiting for the moment that he would be in a hospital on his deathbed and I would commence to beat the living crap out of him. I figured he would feel as helpless as I did as a child so all is fair right?
Well, a couple years ago that moment arrived, he was dying of cancer and even though I was very sick as well, I was more than able to do some serious damage....and no one would I let stop me.
I saw him lying there and was very sad that I was going to lose my dad, I didn't think about the beatings...I was thinking about the good things he did for me, take me to hockey when I played at 6 AM, take me to the Dr's when I was sick, provide a roof over my head.
Instead, I brought him food, made him a fruit tray, brought him tea and would spend hours beside him keeping him company. People can be jerks without a doubt and I did also think of pissing on his grave...actually #2 was more like it, but as hard as it seems, any anger or resentment you have is hurting YOU more than it hurts him.
Forgiving people isn't for the perpetrator...it's for the person doing the forgiving so it lifts that weight of anger/resentment away and off your shoulders. It's not easy to do and of course it will help you but try to see if you can just forget the bad stuff and feel lucky you aren't him because being an a-hole is a thankless job and no one will thank you for it.
If you can forgive him and just not let the person enter your head space you have helped yourself in more ways than he could ever. If for some reason, you just have trouble forgiving him and he passes before you, by all means drink a gallon of water or a case of beer and let er rip

BTW, my dad survived and he is still a bit of an a-hole but it is what it is.
Peace

His ghost will haunt you.