For as long as I can remember I’ve had this illness. All I’ve ever wanted to do was feel better without needing medical help. It never happened. I feel like I’m being dragged down under water and slowly drowning. And no matter how much, or how hard, I fight to survive I keep being dragged down further and further. After dealing with this for, over, 20 years now… when will it stop? When will I be able to feel genuinely happy? Or am I doomed to drown and to die?
There is going to be another blood moon on sunday. I feel a little scared because we have had many blood moons and the sun had blackened. Are we in the end times? Is Jesus coming back to earth? I am worried about the suffering that will be brought onto the Nations such as war famine and economical collapse.
Without getting graphic, I burn myself. I started with matches, worked my way up to curling irons. I do it because I feel calmer, like it forces me out of my head and I can start to relate to my surroundings again. I’ve been trying to stop, but I miss the feeling. I miss the anticipation, the actual act of burning, the lingering pain for days after. I’ve went back to just matches a time or...