Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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AprilStar 12/27/2011

I used to love all that it was about. I don't know what made it so great. But I used to love it.

But this year was horrible. I had to visit my parents'. Had to see them, talk to them, act as though everything is normal and everything is fine. When it's NOT!

And it's made me feel horrible. I feel sick for being near him. It drives me crazy that everything has to appear "normal' on the surface. I don't want to go back there ever.

But I also don't know how to keep living with it all. With the acts, and the memories, and the pain. I don't want to live with it anymore.

deleted_user 12/27/2011

i know how u feel.... Christmas was rough on me this yr too. I used to love it, and one would think with all that we have gone thru this yr that this would have been the best christmas ever. But it ended up being the worst. I had the opposite happen to me. I wanted my family to all get together. Instead it was "I'll come over and get the gifts for the kids" "I'm dropping off your gift" "I have plans Christmas, can we do another day...oh I'll get back to you about New yrs we may have plans that day too" *this was from my own family* FAmily is supposed to care about each other. Apparently all they cared about this yr was their gifts and themselves. Its about more than gifts. Next yr I am not buying ANY gifts... they will get a card in the mail saying their gift went to the American Heart Association or something like that :)

chelle37 12/27/2011

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that! It sounds like whoever "him" is you need to take care of yourself and stay away from him. Are you getting any help to work through all those bad memories? You don't have to keep living with them, if you get them out and share them with a good therapist it will help. ((hugs))

AprilStar 12/27/2011

He is my dad.
And I do have a therapist. But most of these memories I only found about in the past 1 1/2 years. It seems as though there are still "new" memories constantly surfacing.

chelle37 12/27/2011

That has to be really hard, it makes sense that it was a really difficult Christmas for you. You're very courageous for facing these memories and working through them. I hope you have lots of support through this process.

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