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I think my heart is dying

gordos4
gordos4
My cockatiel I have had for over 15 years died in hands tonight. I bawled like a baby for 2 hours. I woke up at 3 this morning, cried a little more. Now, I feel nothing. A thought popped into my head "I have been hurt & disappointed SOOOO many times in my life, Im becoming numb & cold". I DO NOT like this feeling. Ive prayed & prayed about it. I hope & pray God understands my heart & the way it's becoming. I have always been a VERY sensitive person who feels everything, no matter how small. Other people tell me to "get over it". I am becoming my mother, who was numb & cold (at least that's the way I remember her when she left when I was 8) My dad was also cold & unfeeling. WTF? Does anyone else feel this way? I would rather be dead than be a cold person.
gordos4
gordos4
Thank you for your messages. We buried Chica under 2 trees, so that made me feel better. My heart is still hurting, but it's getting better. I still have my parakeet, who is also grieving. She didn't eat for 4 days, I feared I would lose her too. I will not get another bird. This is the 3rd one I've lost, it's just too painful. I also lost my toy poodle/shitzu 2 years ago & still miss her. 2014 has sucked, lost my dad, my sister in law, now a pet. 2015 HAS to be better.
jaclyn1973
jaclyn1973
Part of mine died when my beloved Scottie, Mckay, died many years ago. The rest of mine died when my husband left me. I function and I move forward, but there is no love left to give anyone or anything
gordos4
gordos4
Jaclyn, I'm sorry you've been hurt. Some people are just meant to suffer more than others. It doesn't seem fair, but I am beginning to realize that our suffering is actually a gift from God. He has a purpose for our suffering. He understands the hearts of men, especially when we've been hurt by so many people. Offer up your suffering to God to help the souls of those who have died. Hang in there, (((hugs)))) Nancy
Atpeacemary
Atpeacemary
You are grieving for a member of the family. As for those insensitive idiots, ignore them. Their opinion does not count. It will take time. Be gentle with yourself. Hugs
Cypressmoon1
Cypressmoon1
You're not numb and cold. You stayed in your little bird's life until the end. It seems to me you've been all your bird ever needed. 15 years, now it is God's turn to take care of your bird. I bet your bird is wanting to be there for you, right now, telling you he's ok and happy, and that you are more ok than you think you are. There is a bigger plan than just this life...But, try not to forget this life is part of that bigger plan. Make the most of it.

You have a beautiful heart....taking care of an innocent animal. It will be your choice if you lock it away or not. You have a choice to have hope and to give again.

My puppy isn't well. I know the pain you're feeling. She 's 17. This is part of life. Remember that.
gordos4
gordos4
I am feeling better. It's been almost a week. We buried her under 2 trees & that helped. I wish I could simply bury all my pain like that.
Sara59
Sara59
So sorry you lost your buddy like that.
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