I am not a therapist nor a qualified counselor, but perhaps if you just share what really bothers you it can diminish the painful effect. I don't know you, your life, history. However, you seem smart enough to know you are not okay and need help. We all need help from time to time, we all need to be heard, seen, and taken seriously. At times, everyone has their own cares to worry about that we overlook the needs of others, but that isn't to think one is greater than another, the truth is each person is responsible for how they think and feel. Most often pain and suffering can be environmental. I do see you practice self-love when you mention you have conversations with yourself and then forget, perhaps due to stress and anxiety? Either way, worldwide pandemic life, can be lonely, confusing, and uncomfortable with all the new adjusting and changes around. The best is to be self-loving and serve another in love. Wish you the best, stay young, kind and sweet, we all love our gentlemen.

I am so sorry you're going through this. It's very similar to what I'm experiencing. It's hard sometimes to reach out for help but that is one of the best things we can do to get better. I have a doctor that I see for symptoms like these. It seems to help me. Maybe if you can find someone to talk to it might also help you through some of the things you're going through too