Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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SBoom 04/26/2009

I was going to university a few hours away from where my parents lived. After living in the city I was going to school in for a couple of years, I had made a lot of friends. I could rarely walk campus without running into a few people I knew, and I always had people nearby I could hang out with whenever the mood struck. I didn't know anyone when I moved there, but it didn't take long.

But there was no work in that city.. not the whole time I was there. So I kept going to another city, on the other side of the country, for the summers to make money and living with my older bro and friends. Anyways, the second summer I spent here (last summer) I fell completely in love. We broke up the night before I moved back to go to school, but at the time that I made the decision I am about to mention, we were together and I have to admit, he was one of the various reasons I wanted to do this.

I decided to move to the city I had been spending my summers in. I was exactly halfway through my degree, so I transfered university's and here I am.

But I think I made a mistake. I had a few reasons for making the move - one was that I wanted to go to a more prestigious school; one was the love; one was the oppourtunity to work; etc etc. I've now been here for 4 months - the whole semester. And I am beginning to feel like I made the wrong decision. I've barely met anyone at school - no real friends yet. I am living in a house full of guys and it is driving me insane. I miss my ex, and I haven't been laid since we broke up - EIGHT MONTHS AGO! I feel really alone because I have no girls in my life that I am close with here. I can't find any job other than pouring coffee at a coffee shop for the summer. The university I transfered to is a lot more challenging, and in many ways I like it, but it's draining on me because I am used to being top of my class and here I am just average. It just seems like all of the things that I moved here for have escaped me and I've made a big mistake. I am stuck here until I finish my degree at least, which is in 2 years. I don't know if I can stay strong enough to get through in the place I am in. Things aren't working out the way I had planned them, and I am having a really rough go right now. I am scared. I am worried. And I'm lost.

deleted_user 04/26/2009

Be strong, okay? Just try to make the best of things. Go around campus and talk to the different students all around there. It may take some time but you'll make some new friends soon. Not too sure what to suggest for everything else though. Just keep hanging in there. You can do it.

deleted_user 04/26/2009

Often times, the most challenging things that we have to deal with, are quite beneficial in the long run. It may be a little difficult to meet new friends where you are, but you sound intelligent and very capable of establishing meaningful friendships. I have no doubt that you simply need to "stick it out" as suggested, and try to accept the challenges as they come. You may also wind up learning more if this school is harder than you were used to, and if it is more prestigious, than your career may also likely benefit from this change. Please try not to feel too overwhelmed, and don't lose sight of the bigger picture.

peixi 04/26/2009

isn't there like a counseling group or advisor you can go to, and i don't, think about what it would be like if you transfered back, yes, you would have friends but you wouldn't even have the pouring coffee job, so i think you should sit down and list all the pros and the cons of living where you are now, 1 i can tell you is that no matter if you're average in that school it would be better for you in the future to list that school as your in your CV, 2 i think guys are better at taking your mind off things, take advantage of that, i don't have one guy friend and i wish i did and if you need a girl to talk to i'm a girl...3 in this economy i think you should be happy that at least you have a job, i'm not telling you to suck it up, i'm just trying to help you start your list ;) and if it doesn't work, then i wish you all the strength in the world, i know is hard

SBoom 04/26/2009

Thanks guys. I know I just need to stick it out, and I know that eventually my social group will expand just like it did back at my old school. It's just been such a hard few months and I just need to let out how I've been feeling because I really don't have anyone to talk to about how I'm feeling on a regular basis now that I'm on the opposite end of the country as my best friend and others. I'm just so alone and it's driving me mad. I'm sure it doesn't help that I quit smoking a month ago (as of tomorrow) because that can mess with the emotions quite a bit.. but it's been longer than that that I've been having a rough go. I keep try to just snap out of it because I feel like I'm being ridiculous. I mean, when I really look at how my life is going I don't have any real problems. I manage to pay my rent and eat three meals a day, to pay my tuition, and get my schoolwork done. A lot of people have real problems that make my life a white picket fence by comparison. I mean, it's hard because I'm in so much debt and have a really meagre income and I'm not eligible for financial aid and student loan because my parents own a small business and the stupid government counts the assets as $ (not to mention the fact that my parents are really terrifically well off and I am paying for my education and everything on my own). But I'm making it. I know that the only reason I'm lonely is because it takes a while to make friends. It took me almost the whole first year to make any real "friends" at my old school, I know this. But at least there I was close enough to home that I could take a bus back to the rentals for the weekend. Here I do have my brother and the guys we live with and a couple people from work last summer that I hang out with... but I dunno, I still feel isolated. Sometimes I get really sick of living with all guys and hearing guy talk all the time - guy talk has never bothered me before, used to it, all my friends in high school were guys and I only have brothers.. but it's different I guess when you hear it every freaking day and you don't have a girl a 5 minute walk away to go chill with.
I think you guys are right that I'm better off being average at a better school than the best at an average school. It's just hard to get used to and it's been a bit of both a reality check and an identity crisis for me. I mean, here I spent the last 2 years thinking I was a really intelligent person, surrounded by people who thought I was a bloody genius, best of the best, pick of the litter. You get used to an image like that and start to identify with it. All of the sudden that image is smashed to pieces when I transfer here and find that I'm really nothing spectacular. Still a smart girl, I know that.. but not as smart as I thought I was.
I'm really just rambling here... just so much I want to let out that's been swimming around inside for way too long all pent up

SBoom 04/26/2009

"not to mention the fact that my parents are really terrifically well off and I am paying for my education and everything on my own)"

This is supposed to say NOT terrifically well off!

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