Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Things have gotten rough. I push myself too far. I keep trying to be perfect. I havent posted or joirnaled in way too long. I definitely need to. The week before Thanksgiving was my mom's birthday. We went out. We had fun. I found out the mext day my brother no longer supported me. He fully believes anything his wife says. Even though she is the one who hirts me. That night I wanted to show them I really was sick but I slept instead. The next day I was completely fogged. I tried to take a bottle of pills. My mom caught me and called the police. I went to the hospital. After looking and feeling everything that has happened, I realize why this is happening during this time. My first real suicidal thought was around this time when I was younger and being abused. I forgot it was the holiday season and the two clicked together. It hurts so much to have family that wont come to Thanksgiving or Christmas but I keep trying push past it. I keep pushing myself at work even though I think it makes me worry too much. There is so much to handle and I need to keep writing and posting. I hope it will help.
That rooster spends all day herding those hens, who are profoundly thick. He keeps them safe. He finds them food and gives it to them. He picks out worms and feeds them to the women. he takes care of them all day long. And then when I throw out the chicken feed, he rapes them. Takes him seconds, they're offended and unimpressed but don't dwell. They forget it immediately and go back to eating.
But look at the rooster. We think he's big and strong. He's not the big strong conqueror. he's dickwhipped. He's at the mercy of his hormones and his programming.
There was no point wondering what had gone through the stepfather's head. Nothing went through his head. He was as dumb as a box of rocks.
The only way you can escape this pettiness is to realise it's petty. At the moment you're making petty nothings important. Who cares what somebody said your brother thinks? I mean.. come on. As to taking a bottle of pills over it... that's very silly.
Truly silly. This lot is all a storm in a teacup. And when you realise this, when your view is removed enough from it that you can see it the size it truly is, you just won't give a toss. You'll think it's silly.
If I start to rate things up? I'd say being alive is a 100. I'd say being raped is about a 10. maybe a 5. i'd say other people's gossip is about a 2.
Being alive is exponentially bigger. it's a way bigger deal. So don't throw it away just over these silly things. If you're physically alive: that's what counts. Anything else you can just throw it over your shoulder and get it behind you.
Look where you're going, don't look where you've been.