I'm not sure what the score means exactly, but I think what matters most is how you're feeling. It definitely sounds like you've identified that you're depressed and being off your meds has made it harder. Have you talked to your dr at all about programs to help pay for your meds? I know some of the pharmaceutical companies have programs where they will give meds to people who can't afford them. Also sometimes drs have samples of meds they can give to patients to get them by for a while.

can you not go to get help enewar like socual servises for your meds at least .................ware do you live ..............as far as i know you can here as long as a doctor has riten a letter to them .................and you schouldent feel like a shit as you say it is not your falt you are sick .............thats just life ..............i have a good family good husband and children and grandchildren and i am depresed why just because thats me i have had depreshion all my life ...............some of it you can inhearit ..............i dont bother thinking to much about those tests because i know how i feel and if i am doing good or not ...............one thing you have to be painfully honest when telling the doctor just how you feel and how sick you are .....................maby there is somthing the doctor can sugest for you to do for your self .............i hope you can find some relife and someone to help you get some meds ..................since i dont know eneything about eneything else that is all i can offer ....................i will keep you in my prayers ..................and it is good for you to be here and talk to people who will understand you and even have experanced similar things ..........we need to talk and let everything out ...............i learned that the hard way i would never talk about eneything just hold everything inside and was always pushing people away untill i ended up in the hospital after a atempt at suside that was realy was not that i was just wanting the mental pain to stop and i was in a diferant place is the only way i can explain it and my son woke up and i relized he would be the one to find me and i just snaped out of it .........but i cept getting worse untill i was just crying all the time and i wouldent talk at all ..............they had to give me ect because i was going dowen to far to fast ..................you dont want to go there .........so make some frends in here and start talking or just start talking right here it cant hurt ...........also riting a jurnal just for you ........right in it every day how you feel what went on during that day ..................that helps get things out to ..................................i wish you all the best ..........and i will keep you in my prayers .............................god bless

Depressed, I feel so badly for you and feel even more helpless, to help you. I wish there was something I could do. I can say that I know you are a good person with a big heart. I don't even have to meet you, to know that. I love you like a brother and you will never be alone, okay? Keep your head held high and never let anyone tell you that your anything but a good person. Hugs GB