Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I'm 46, male, I have had chronic illness and chronic pain for the last 8 years. It is caused by a rare birth defect of my intestines, they are counter-rotated 270 degrees counter-clockwise. It didn't show up until I was 39 years old in the form of staggering morning pain. I have had 2 surgeries, the first in Aug. 2009 and the most recent Aug. 2016 for adhesion removal. The first surgery was a failure as far as relieving any pain, but most likely saved my life. The most recent surgery did give me some relief, but not much. Istill wake up in blinding abdominal pain every morning. The pain starts subsiding around 1:00 PM daily, but always at a 2-4 pain level.
I wish I would get better or die. I'm a wuss, I have the means to kill myself, but not the balls. I feel so worthless, lazy, do nothing POS! I was emotionally OK prior to the illness. This sickness brought out many emotional disorders that probably never would have activated if I wouldn't have became physically sick. My life revolves around my pain. Opiate pain meds only make things worse for me, so I can't take them.
I went through a deep dark depression for 2 years after my initial surgery. I can feel myself slipping back into that kind of depression again. I take Luvox, max dose (300mg) for Purely obsessional OCD and depression. I think the Luvox has stopped working, my Pdoc is bringing me down on Luvox, before we cross over to Zoloft.I can't possibly tell you everything in my life that is screwed up. I'm thinking about suicide contantly, partially from the OCD, and alot because I'm miserable all of the time! The only thing that prevents me from ending it is the belief I would go to hell if I killed myself. I feel trapped in a life I hate. Every aspect of my thinking have become negative about myself and the way I feel about life now. I really wish if this is how things are going to be for the rest of my life God would take me out! Maybe this is my Hell on earth and I'm serving a sentence under God for something I did wrong? I'm just really tired of being in pain all of the time and it is driving me to the point of just ending it myself. Waking up in screaming abdominal pain every day has taken it's toll on me, and I really could care less if I live or die. right now, preferrably the latter! Anyone else feel this way? how do you deal with it? I'm totally defeated and see nothing but crap for the rest of my life. Ted
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/chronic-pain
I will pray for you!
God Bless
The truth is, unless you have chronic pain, you don't understand those with chronic pain. I don't know where you live, but I encourage you to look up support groups in your area. I have found, at least in my city, there are amazingly groups for everything. For friends of suicide survivors, for family members of ALS, for people with Tourettes, for everything.
Best,
C