>>I don't know what to do!

I am sorry you have unfulfilled needs. Sometimes we just have to accept 'how things are' at the moment. The interesting thing is things change over time. You may be able to reach a friend soon .. so a little waiting may be the solution.

It is possible your friends are avoiding you. I would not know. You might take this wait time and think about that .. see if you can determine any likelihood of that. Friends are for 'leaning on' when we need them .. but there is a limit to everything. Do you 'need' them for support most of the time .. or just occasionally? Perhaps you are asking them for more than they are comfortable giving. I am not accusing you of anything .. I don't know the answers to the questions I pose. I am simply saying everyone has boundaries and if you are crossing one .. that friend may opt to avoid you. You can make that assessment yourself.

I am curious as to what you need to talk 'to someone' about. Maybe we, here on DS, can listen and respond in lieu of your friends who are not available. Again .. I would not know.

I want to repeat .. I am not accusing you of being out of bounds with any of your friends ... I am simply suggesting it as a possibility. Like I said, .. only you can make that determination.

In any case, I hope you can fill your needs soon .. with your friends, here on DS, or otherwise. It may be coincidental that all your friends are 'busy' at the moment .. and one will take your call soon. Otherwise, .. there are a lot of people here on DS willing to listen to you.

God I know that feeling! You feel like "no one is answering the phone, they must not care" but you know that isn't true.... life can be such an ass hole like that... I find that when I *really* need someone, they're busy or I can't get a hold of them... and it's not that they don't care.. they don't know I'm in need. It's never when I'm calling to go out for wings that my friends are too busy to answer the phone - it's when I desperately need them.

Don't be too hard on yourself, and don't let yourself get bogged down in paranoid thoughts like that... we all do it and it's never good.

So... what do you need to talk about?

I picked up another bad habit. I used to cut, but made myself stop and now I am addicted to the pain associated with burning myself. I want to stop soooo bad.

This isn't who I am! At all and I don't want to be this person anymore!

Have you joined the Self-Injury support group on here? It's not quite as active as the depression group, so you don't get as many replies or nearly as quickly.. but everyone there is in the same boat and it's really helpful being able to discuss your urges with people who are going through the same thing

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Self-Injury/support-group

>> used to cut, but made myself stop

GREAT! Nice work.

>> and now I am addicted to the pain associated with burning myself. I want to stop soooo bad.

Hmmm .. just as bad as cutting, I think. Self harm is pretty complicated and I am no expert. In fact, I don't do it and never have. I say this to explain that I don't understand it but accept that it is a very strong compulsion for some people.

If you could reach a friend on the phone, what would they do to keep you from burning yourself? The way I see it is you can try to get a hold of one of them so they can do whatever they do .. or you can not burn yourself. I repeat .. I know 'it is not that easy' .. but I don't think it is 'easy' .. just possible. It is possible because apparently, talking to a friend CAN prevent you from doing it. So it is possible to NOT do it.

I think you can make your life much simpler if you can find a way to NOT do that. Experts recommend many ways to do that .. I think mostly by distraction. I suggest you get busy with something worthwhile that will occupy your mind so you do not think about burning yourself. I know ... I KNOW that is very difficult .. but 'doable'. This would prevent you from harming and give control back to yourself .. instead of depending on 'friends' to keep you safe. It would sure solve a lot of your problems if you could do that.

I am sorry if I am simplifying something that is complex .. I know it is complex .. but depending on friends to keep you safe is not reliable .. as you can see .. sometimes they are not available. I wish you could establish your own control over this .. as you would be much better off. I hope you do not harm yourself .. and I recommend getting yourself busy with something that will hold your concentration .. and keep you safe.

I see you ARE a member of Self Injury .. I am sure people in that group will try to help you to not harm. They know more about it than I ever will.

I am here, you can message me and I will converse with you, I have been through a lot myself. Glad to help if I can. I have been here for over 3-1/2 years doing what I can to help others.

I can definitely sympathize with you; in fact it was that very scenario that finally led me to attempt suicide, check in to a hospital, and finally get diagnosed with clinical depression! So I know how it feels to need someone and feel like no one is there. Here is how I have learned to handle those 'drowning" moments in my life:

first, I went through my contacts and decided which friends HAVE been there in the past and which were my "pizza and beer" friends, you know the ones who are really only there to hang out? After deciding which ones are helpful, you can do one of 2 things (and I have done both myself, but your decision is up to you) either put all of the friends on speed dial and leave the other ones in your usual contact list -or- delete the "pizza" friends altogether. This will narrow down the number of calls you make and the potential count of how many "no answers" you get.

Now that you have a definite line between 'friends' and 'contacts' , ask yourself if you've been there for them? If you haven't been there for them, then they may not feel as connected to you as you'd like; MAKE SURE YOU ARE BEING THE TYPE OF FRIEND YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE. That was a difficult lesson for me to learn, but it has been so beneficial!

Another thing to remember is that LIFE HAPPENS! Maybe some of your friends are going through some hardship of their own and don't feel like answering because they don't want to unload their issues on someone else. I have ignored phone calls on bad days, so I have to give my friends the same freedom.

Sometimes I just don't hear my phone, which means that sometimes my friends must not hear theirs either. They may be in another room, or have their phone on silent due to circumstances, or maybe they're listening to the music too loud in the car!

Are you leaving voicemails for your friends? Why not try a text message? If you still don't get an answer, it's OK! A friend will eventually return your call. If you feel comfortable enough with any one friend, maybe confide in him/her that you have depression and occasionally may need some extra encouragement from time to time and ask if they would be willing to help. If they agree, then set up code (mine is "bad day") that you can send as your own personal 911. My friend will be sure to get back to me asap when they get that text; whether it be 24 seconds or 24 hours. I find comfort in knowing that someone out there is conscious of the fact that I am hurting and they care. I may only get a text back "I'm here" or I may get a phone call if the situation permits, but the bottom line is that within 24 hours, someone will answer. You just have to make sure you don't "cry wolf" or your friend may get exhausted.

Joining DS has also helped me through my "alone moments" as well. Seeing that others have gone through what i am going through and have overcome their struggles is VERY uplifting!

We're all here for you!