I'm so sorry you're going through all this! Please know we are all here to listen and support you! Do you have a friend or family member you can talk to and confide in to at least help you through this rough patch? Hope you start to feel better and are able to get some peace.
Sending hugs and support!

It's so hard to find that freedom when we hold ourselves captive for the fear of what others think of us. You will he free from it one day. I'm getting closer and closer to that freedom. I hope you find it soon for your sake. Take care.

i rember that place and i hope i never go there again i got close this time i reayl hope you find the help you need realy soon and i hope that you will hang on untill that help comes to you .....because things will get better you just cant see it yet ..............you have realy expresed your self well here and seeing it in print that would of been hard for me to do because i always kept everything to my self and i had to learn the hard way to talk and that everything no mater how little right from the begining had to come out if i wanted to get better .................i have had depreshion all my life worse at times and at others better ...........then i took a bad break ........just befor it hapened i was crying all the time when i was alone untill someone would come home i would wash my face and put on the mask that everything was ok ................then i was just crying all the time and then i stoped talking and my husband and me talked and he called the hospital and took me in i stayed 2 months but he wanted me to stay longer but i had small kids and didnt want to be away from home eney more i could go home on weakends if i wanted .............some weakends i couldent go home as i was just to depresed ........so i got ect .that is eletric shock treatment and that was a life savour i realy dont know ware i would of ended up with out it ....i was going dowen to far to fast ..............this latest depreshion well i have to say hitened depreshion because i always have some leavel of depreshion always did ..............has so far been 9 years and i just dont see an end in sight but one thing i do know is it can get better because i have been worse and have come back so there is no reason why i cant come back from this ................and i still talk about things i need to talk about ..........i have a phicatrist i see every 3 months ...........i hope that you look for the help you need and find it ......... you have to tell the doctors exactualy how you feel so they can help you ...............it is so good that you have found us here at least you will know you are not alone and we can understand you because we go through the same things ..........i have been comming here for i think 3 years now ..........and i have come a long way .......................so pleasr hang on and take good care of your self be kind to your self ...............i will keep you in my prayers .............god bless..............

It is impossible to read your post and not feel your pain. It comes out through your words and I feel it.

You are not to belittle yourself for ANY REASON because you are GOOD, you are WORTHY. You are one whole human being with so much potential for doing good. WE believe in you.

Please continue to talk to us.
I pray that you find your inner strength and peace.

your not alone here. I too get tired of being tired of all that depression and abuse has taken from me. I'm sad to hear you are bullied and treated unkind. no matter what others try to do to make us feel bad, we need to ignore them and remember we have just as much worth and reason to be here. hang in there. I'm with you, and am tired of trying to explain or defend myself. we're here for you.

I'm sorry for all that you have gone through. I've been through the lonely phase a lot and it isn't any fun. It's rough when our brains won't shut up. Hang in there. ((((gentle hugs))))

Sweetheart, I Am So Sorry For All You Are Going Through.

You Are Such A Beautiful Wonderful Person

No One Has The Right To Hurt You.

Please Remember That You Are Greatly Loved

(((((((HUGS))))))

You express yourself well - and I can certainly relate to your plight.

however -- but (yes there was that behind this first statement):

What you express in a window you are looking at through the world -- yes there is THAT -- the struggle and unfortunately things which we wish would not exist but continue to exist and seem to go on eternally AND there is a magic moment where you can feel at peace and look at the beauty in life.

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I know that may not mean a great deal coming from someone you don't know, but I am sorry and I want you to know that you don't deserve it.

Those people who are saying those things, THEY are the rotten ones for making another human being worthy of feeling nothing but love and acceptance feel this way. Please try to keep in mind that what these people are saying is not the truth. Misery loved company and I'm willing to bet these people are unhappy with their own lives so they need to make others feel the same.

You are wanted and cared for. You are loved.

Thank you all for taking the time out for your lovely responses. It brought tears to my eyes especially the last post. I've been doing a bit better the past few days, but tonight is another rough one.

bethelbee, unfortunately I don't have any friends any longer and my only family is the one who is mentally abusive. Right now all I have is a therapist and she just got me to see a peer specialist so I have some support. But I'd just like someone to care for me because they like me for who I am and not because they are paid to do so.