Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I'm sick and worn out, both figuratively and literally. I can't sleep at night anymore, because I'm deathly afraid of both my nightmares and my dad. I've got a really bad chest and head cold and I know I'm not going to be able to heal if I don't get rest, but I how can I rest when I can't shake the fear? I'm on Zoloft and Xanax and it still doesn't help my fear. My memory has gone to hell, I can't remember when my next therapy appointment is. For all I know, I've missed it. I need to call and ask the receptionist, but I just don't have the energy. I hate this feeling. I feel so done. I'm beyond exhausted and I just want to sleep for a few good hours. I've tried sleep medication, though I can't remember which, and they were too strong, even at half of the smallest dose. So much so that they both made me want to sleep for days on end. I'm restless and it's taking it's toll on my body. On top of all that, I have chemotherapy again tomorrow morning. I don't know how long I can do this. I promised myself I wouldn't give up, but I don't know how long I can keep that promise. I'm bad at keeping promises.
Hugs
may i ask how old you are?
kk i read up on it a bit so im no longer a COMPLETE ignoramus
from what little i know about you, you obviously are a pretty strong young man. and from the little bit i've read about lupus, it seems like it can be manageable for most people with treatment, i do know about chemo as i watched my best friend go through it for years with cancer,
I know that attitude was critical to my friends recovery, course he was in his 30s not teens, but he acts like a ten year old if that makes any sense :)
I guess what I'm tryin to say is, even with the crap that your going through right now, there is hope for a better life a happy life and love and sex and heartbreak and joy and all the crazy shit that goes with it, you cant control the lupus but you can control your outlook. dont give up, and smile even when you dont want to , ESPECIALLY when you dont want to .
smile and make em wonder what the hell your up to, at the very least it will be entertaining to watch them worry about what your gona do, at best your gonna start to believe it yourself and get a head start on happiness when you kick this lupus thing in the ass
That was from the great chat-up lines of Heavy D and The Boys. Use it well my friend................and I hope it brought a lil smile to your chops.
I try to be as strong as possible, it's just hard sometimes. I get told that I'm worthless and I'm nothing, and after awhile you start to believe it. I was on medication for Lupus, but it wasn't helping manage it, so that's why they turned to another bone marrow transplant. I think what makes it worse is the fact that my little girl is growing up before my eyes and I can't slow it down. And because I'm so sick most of the time, I can't enjoy her baby days like I should. I love her to death and would do anything in my power to make sure she's safe, but I just want her to stop growing up until I'm feeling better and can play with her without getting sick. She's pretty laid back, which I think is because I don't get to play with her too much, so she'd almost rather watch TV than play with toys or color. Sometimes she will ask for the crayons and paper, but she'll break the crayons in half whilst watching TV instead of coloring. I try to let her only watch the educational shows, I.E. Dora and Barney. I miss her to pieces whilst I'm at school. Luckily I get to see her on weekends, provided I'm not sick, like I am this week.