Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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I'm so scared

Ebony
Ebony

I'm afraid and I'm scared! I've been depressed since I was about seven !I'm 24 now and its getting harder to deal with things! I have this strong Persona and everybody thinks I'm so happy. I'm not at all. I feel like the only reason why I continue to live and not kill myself is because of course I don't want people in my life to be sad. But then another part of me says maybe I should cuz people aren't taking me seriously. Don't worry I'm not going to kill myself. I'm just venting! Life can be so hard when it comes to being depressed cuz you just feel like it's so hard to move forward or so hard to continue living. And I understand and I get that people don't understand what I'm going through cuz I barely understand it myself but it really hurts when people don't consider my feelings. I've always been the backbone for my family since I was a little girl since I'm the oldest. I've took care of them and everything and I don't regret any thing that I've ever done in my past. But because I did that my family automatically assume that I have everything under control. Unfortunately I don't. I've been drinking for the past maybe 2 weeks every single day. I cut where people can't see cuz I don't want to answer questions that I don't care about. I just don't get it you know like why does depression even exist. I don't think it's fair and I understand that life isn't fair I get that I swear I do but it's so hard to like you don't belong. Am I the only person that thinks this likeI'm not supposed to be here . Sometimes I feel like this is all a dream and I'm going to wake up and somebody's going to say hey girl you passed the test how was it. Cuz for some reason I don't feel like I belong in this world. Like I feel like my sperm LOL wasn't supposed to be this fast and somebody else was supposed to hit the egg. I'm serious. Does anybody else feel this way? Does anybody else feel like they're not supposed to be here? Does anybody feel like this is crazy and no one should be in this much pain? Please tell me I'm not the only one? I can't be! Can someone else tell me that they feel the same. Like they don't belong here whatever here is. I just think this whole life thing sucks I think it's the worst thing ever. And that's why I don't feel like I belong. Again. I'm not going to commit suicide so please don't say you're better than that. I just want to know does anybody feel like they're in some experiment or if anybody feels like they don't belong here because of the way that they feel. I love this site because I'm able to talk to strangers LOL and believe it or not it does help. Thanks for reading I appreciate it.

shadowlady
shadowlady
Oh Sweetie,
I am SO sorry you feel this way. I know precisely what it's like to feel like you do. I too have been depressed most of my life. In much older than you. I'm sending you a PM; just wanted you to know you ARE NOT ALONE. We're all,here to support you. God bless.
ivorymuse04
ivorymuse04
My story and yours is similar. At 24 though my life fell apart completely. I am not trying to scare you. Just please reach out for help like make sure you go see your psychiatrist and a therapist and take meds and even find a support group. I didn’t do those things I ignored my symptoms and then I didn’t get help until I completely broke and had a psychotic break. Yeah I wouldn’t want to see that happen to anyone else. It is taking me well a long time through hell and now a couple years in recovery and I am slowly making progress but progress is better than no progress at all.
Breezy28
Breezy28
You’ve had to be so strong your whole life. You are so maternal and nurturing. This is not a moment of weakness for you, this is all the pain you have endured coming to the surface. It’s okay to not be okay right now. I promise you it will pass, just be patient and kind to yourself. Don’t be afraid to be open about this with people in your life.
OreTech
OreTech
I don't think you are alone. It must be really challenging always being the person in your family that they just assume is fine. It's important to get checked on not just be assumed you're doing well. I think I was in the same boat as you for a while, not knowing what to do or what is the point of being around, but not wanting to actually kill yourself because it will hurt your loved ones. My therapist told me to think about loved ones every time I get in a mood because just the thought of them will help keep you alive. -if it ever does get to that point with you-. But honey, please be careful about trying to numb yourself by drinking every night. I grew up with a family of alcoholics and spent some time going to AA meetings with them, and it can be a quick spiral down mixing depression and alcohol. And once you're down that spiral, it can be hard to get out of. Just remember that your family loves you and I'm sure if you talked to them about how your feelings they would care. If you never can open up to them, a therapist or in-person support group might really help you more. I wish you well and to get out of this hole xx
lovejourney
lovejourney
yes, i've felt that way. like i don't belong here....and very depressed....and losing it while wearing that "everything is perfect" mask...

what if what you're feeling is supposed to be what you're feeling right now.... like if you keep blowing up a balloon, it eventually pops, ya know???

as humans, each of gets to the tipping point emotionally sooner or later.... many (like you) will run like hell, escape via drinking or drugging, not cuz you really want to.... you're just not sure how to get the pain to stop!!!!!

but there are options...yours will be unique for you. and it will take time, but you don't have to live the rest of your life like this....

if you want to converse more, message me!!
debbiegk63
debbiegk63
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. We sometimes wear a mask that makes us look as if everything is ok when it's not, especially when everyone else depends on us. It is only compounded when you deal with depression. I understand how you feel. I have dealt with depression since I was a teenager and my mother and brother have depended on me a great deal. My faith in God has kept me strong because He is the One I rely on. I am glad you came for support. Perhaps there is also someone you trust who you can talk to one to one? I hope in this information, you can find encouragement: https://bit.ly/2mFxWoz