Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I dont even really know what to say. It was late, like 1 a.m the first time he said I love you. I hesitate. But I say it back. He asks me why I hesitated. I say because its gonna hurt so much when you leave. He tells me so sweetly that he isnt going anywhere. Fast forward. I'm on the phone with him asking him if theres anything I can do to change his mind on leaving. He says no he needs to go get help for his mental health and he cant give me the support I need. He needs to work on himself. He tells me he loves me and cares for me so much and he wants me to take care of myself. He cant go thru this knowing I'm not ok. And I am NOT ok. He says maybe when he has worked on himself, who knows where we will be and maybe we will find each other again. I break down not wanting to get off the phone as he tells me goodbye. Part of me understands the mental health. It's coming up on the anniversary of when I almost took my life. But the other part of me is so deeply in love with him and am so saddened that he wont be in my life. No more weekends together, nor more inside jokes, no more late night cuddles and no more I love yous. I am so deeply worried about him and i am so saddened by the fact that we are not a we anymore. How do I carry on when I miss him so much and know hes in pain and cant do anything. How do I wake tomorrow knowing exactly at 1030 he would be waking up and I would be texting him "morning handsome " I thought my pain was over. I thought we were happy and my search was over. We talked about moving in together, and the things we would buy. We talked about vacations we would take and the plans we had for the future. Do I hang on to the hope that we will get back together? A month? 2 months? How long? Do I message him a month from now asking how he is doing or will I be opening myself to getting shut out again. I really thought he was it. He brought so much joy and laughter back into my life. His smell could spark something in me, his touch lit the fire. His voice, oh his voice, could send me to the moon. And now that's just gone. How do I do this when I am so deeply in love with him and I cant be with him.
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Just thought I would join this group now that I am a widower. My wife passed away May 28th. She was "The Wind Beneath My Wings". When I met her, I was a drunken, dope smoking, fighting, hell raising biker. She told me if I could get rid of the inner storm within me, that I could be a blessing to people. God placed her in my path to stop me. I have been drug and alcohol free now for 53...
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My husband and I got our foster license last month, after 3 years of hard work (we had to start over multiple times due to family dramas and Mom's open heart surgery). We spent a year preparing the whole house, guest rooms, and children's bathroom for older kids of 7 yr old and up. Then we got a call that we have been approved to receive twin newborn premies. What, what?!! Babies!? Premies?!...
Check on him from time to time and see if he is serious about getting the help he needs. I wish you well.
BIG WARM HUGS
When YOU are happy with yourself ... no one else can break that. It is always with you. You are always with some degree of happiness. This makes you a different person than one who puts all their happiness on someone/something else. You have possession of your OWN happiness.
This makes you attractive to others .... where you have a chance to share your happiness with theirs and your 'happiness' account increases ... mutually.
No one can provide their self happiness and someone else's happiness ... one or both players' happiness is doomed. We must each create our on exclusive happiness and then share it .... allowing it to grow.
What has happened to you happens to the majority of people. For most of those, it happens over and over again.
When you are happy (love) yourself ... you have happiness (love) to share. When you don't, ... well, you don't.