Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
...Yo...idk. I'm...unsure. um...ok... I doubt this will do anything, but I guess I'll TRY and share even though it won't matter truly. So I'm 19. I was raised by a single mom that neglected and shamed me and is unaware of her actions bcz she refuses to acknowledge her mistakes. I've been her bitch, house pet, (or whatever you prefer) ever since I was born honestly. She's confused about money and love and doesn't care for my input. I grew up (age 7-13) staying away from her, being quiet (like a ninja bruh), independent really, and never asking for anything more than 2 or 3 things a year. I was apparently a lier, hard headed boy, untrustworthy, and a pig. (Age 16) She even got mad at me for doing what she told me to do and pushed me to the ground and slapped me twice after walking "home" from school. She threatened me to come inside so I walked away. Ended up at my friend's house and was gonna stay the night. She came later that day to get me so she doesn't get in trouble (she told me that). Basically she's been hinting that I'm just a burden and she would've been better off having me aborted but doesn't want to say it. I'm 19 and she's acting like I'm in jr high - high school again as if she's trying to make up for what she did to me. She's an irritating bitter single parent that's one minded and has fucked my life bcz the only reason I matter is bcz I'm her obedient fuck boy doing what she wants. She told me today that I make her feel like a bad parent (bcz u fucking are!!! "Let's sleep with a drug dealer and throw electronics in my kids faces! I don't need to be around! Being a mother means im a good!". Fucking baka) and she asked me to stop. I ask her to stop shaming me and like a little bratty girl she shamed me more and told me to get out if I didn't like it. Her exuse for being a bad parent and a baka is bcz shes a single parent (that's not an excuse). The mental effects are another story but I'll shut up. This was prob hard to follow if you read. Sorry
She cut all my hair off. I was sitting there, I couldn't tell she was cutting it so short, I'm blind without my glasses and it just feels the same having it cut anyway. She finished. I looked in the mirror and it was about 6 inches shorter. I had been growing my hair out for months.
I burst into tears.
She had a go at me for crying, because it was making her feel bad. She actually said it. She said 'how do you think it makes me feel to have you crying like that?'
From what you say your mother is very toxic to your life. At 19 do you feel ready to go out on your own? That may be the best first step for you to take.
Gentle hugs
Now I know they still have there issues so I keep them at arms length. I cannot change them but I am an adult now and can choose to change myself. I am building my own life and trying to be the best I can be.
We cannot choose our parents but we can grow into whatever we decide too!
Do you have any friends or family that are a support to you? Someone you can stay with for awhile till you finish school and get on your feet? Some cities offer "shelters"....safe places where you can go. Many churches can offer some kind of help and also can recommend someone to talk to. You need a real live person/advocate to be in your corner. You sound like a very strong young man with talents (your music) and a deep sensitivity to those round about you. Don't lose hope. I will pray for you.