Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I also put this up in the stress management group but feel a need to toss it up here too:
"So...I realize that I stress out a lot. So it's following that it would be of use to me to learn how to relax.
But having depressive issues with no real way to handle them that has worked for me, I'm much more used to hiding behind things than actually using things for enjoyment. It seems that I've found ways to abuse everything I've tried...from following soccer to doing puzzles to most recently Scrabble and its cousins.
This is turning into a pain in the behind because I need really badly to find something that will work soon...since I'm studying to get an AS in paralegal studies and currently working on certification for the part-time job I have...spare time is there but I'm throwing it away, basically.
My heart feels right now that nothing is safe enough to try or go back to because the potential for abusing it is too high. I suppose it's not as bad as having a drug or alcohol problem but it's still pretty bad."
The problem is this: I know in my heart that I'd rather stay occupied, but I'm so used to hiding behind things instead of enjoying them that nothing really feels safe to pull out. Has anybody either: a) found themselves in this position, or b) has any ideas that could help?
"So...I realize that I stress out a lot. So it's following that it would be of use to me to learn how to relax.
But having depressive issues with no real way to handle them that has worked for me, I'm much more used to hiding behind things than actually using things for enjoyment. It seems that I've found ways to abuse everything I've tried...from following soccer to doing puzzles to most recently Scrabble and its cousins.
This is turning into a pain in the behind because I need really badly to find something that will work soon...since I'm studying to get an AS in paralegal studies and currently working on certification for the part-time job I have...spare time is there but I'm throwing it away, basically.
My heart feels right now that nothing is safe enough to try or go back to because the potential for abusing it is too high. I suppose it's not as bad as having a drug or alcohol problem but it's still pretty bad."
The problem is this: I know in my heart that I'd rather stay occupied, but I'm so used to hiding behind things instead of enjoying them that nothing really feels safe to pull out. Has anybody either: a) found themselves in this position, or b) has any ideas that could help?
I don't know if I've given you this link yet.
There are some meditation guidance videos on here.
http://www.susanpiver.com/wordpress/
This music relaxes me. Sometimes, I repeat it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSgPDKG6bB0
Can you maybe explain a little more about how this works for you so we can understand your situation better?
The worst of this started when I was just looking for stuff I could do on my commutes back when I worked as an accountant. I found this book of word search puzzles -- I like keeping my brain occupied -- and for a while everything was okay.
But at the time I was and still do have major problems with stress management. The word searches weren't working out too good and sudoku puzzles were making a revival here. Curiosity killed the proverbial cat, I tried one, and got smitten by it.
It really wasn't long before two things happened: 1) I started wondering what else was out there, and 2) I came up with this still-unresolved thought that maybe I could drown my stress-related sorrows in these things.
That wasn't working, but I tried different puzzles anyway. I guess you could say I had a pattern of "I need to keep trying until something clicks" going on. But it became basically like a drug and I must have had 100+ puzzle books/magazines at one point; I didn't know what else to do.
It felt like hiding because I thought I could drown my problems in the things without having to deal with them. But that didn't work, and the problems in question have gotten worse. Today, I still have that same problem; when I don't want to do something, I basically find a way to block it out by going to some tactic that will block it out...a sleepless night, wasting time on something I shouldn't be doing, etc.
I fear that there is a much bigger intertwined problem in all this, but to date I really haven't found anyone I trust enough who has been willing to help me sort some of it out so that I can solve the rest on my own. I'm taking a big gamble by talking it out here, I know...but what else am I going to do?
Just an idea.
Still don't understand how I made it through that semester.