O HONEY I REALLY DONT NO WHAT TO SAY,
BUT I AM SENDING YOU BIG OLE GENTLE HUGGLES N CUDDLES YOUR WAY
PLEASE FIND A THERAPIST OR SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP AND GUIDE YOU IN THIS HUN...
BUT PLEASE KEEP COMEING BACK HERE ON DS!!! BECAUSE WE ALL DO CARE
SOMETIMES WE CANT HELP!!! BUT WE SOMETIMES MAY BEABLE TO GUIDE YOU OR AT MOST WILL [[[LISTEN]]] TO YOUR CRYS.
SENDING MY CAREING HUGGLES XO DC.

I see a therapist this Wed. I want to drink so bad and its been years since I drank. I know I shouldn't cause of the benzos and everything I am on but I just want to numb myself and run far far away.

Hi Meko,
Please call your therapist and please stop taking the pills, there is a limit to them for a reason ok?
Could you talk to your HR department and find out if there is a reason why you are getting so few hours. I understand that your BF has ssues but you need to talk to him and get him to start pulling his weight around the house.
Please keep talking here at least, we care and want to help
*gentle monkey hugs*
xxxxx

I'm sorry for all your troubles I know how it feels to take anything to escape reality, please take care of yourself and don't take more then your doctor prescribes ok, hugs

This is a new therapist so doubt I can call her, plus I'm scared because I have had some really lousy therapists. Talked to work and its retail and its just not many hours available until the holidays. I have talked to bf and that is why we fight so much. I'm beginning to wonder if he has some repressed issues holding him back. I mentioned it to him so hopefully he will tell his dr. Thanks for being there.

I'm not taking as many pills today but just tremendously upset that what little money bf is making he is spending it all. I have things I need to get done but internet is cut off. I can't sell things without it. He wants to go to a public place to discuss our relationship because we live in a duplex with then walls. I just can't do that cause I know I will cry. I can't handle things the way they are but I don't want him gone. He is my rock, my supporter, my best friend.

But his current input to your relationship is obviously causing you more heartache. Perhaps another try at talking would be worth it.
It doesn't matter how new your therapist is, if you need help you should call them. They need to know how you are really feeling so that they can be most effective at helping you
I am sorry that things are so tight for you financially at the moment, could you get your bf to agree to stop spending money on things without talking to you first?

We just tried talking and its just a blame game. I see my therapist tomorrow and there is so much to tell her. My mom just offered to send me some money and I am so grateful but I hate it because she is picking up his slack. I have some things I want to try and sell and I pray for buyers. Thank goodness my mom is understanding now even though she doesn't like him. Thank you for letting me vent and being there for me. *hugs*

I'm sorry you don't feel well. To start off with, please don't take anymore medication than you're supposed to and you should especially limit your alcohol intake when you're on certain medications; it's a very bad combination that can cause very bad effects. I know that the maximum dosage of klonopin is 2 mgs. However, you should not be taking 2 mgs if your doctor has not told you to. If you're not feeling enough relief from the dose of klonopin you're on, you could ask your doctor if it's okay to increase it, given the other medications you're on, your health conditions, etc. You should be very careful with these things, and I am a big hypocrite for saying this; but it's very true and we should ask our doctors' permission first.

I agree with Scared; she has given you some good advice. Maybe if hours are DEFINITELY not available for awhile, maybe a part time job will be of some help? Now, if your boyfriend is living with you and you're having trouble paying bills, then he should definitely get a job, unless he is considered disabled and can apply for disability.

You have A LOT on your plate, and seeing a therapist might be able to help. If your therapist isn't good, then you should try to find another one who is a perfect fit. There are studies that show counseling can sometimes be just as effective as antidepressants.

I wish I knew something else to say to add. You need to try to hang in there and avoid abusing medication. Try to engage in an activity that cheers you up instead.

I don't have anything else to add...You are going through a lot, and I hope you'll feel better soon. HUGS

From what you describe .. I would break up with boyfriend and start making it on your own.

You BETTER lay off the drug abuse .. and sure as hell should not add alcohol.

If you want things to improve, you are going to have to unload some problems you have .. BF, drug abuse, and potentially alcohol.

NONE of those things hold a solution for you .. none.

I'm sorry you're going through so much right now. I've done the same with the Klonopin but then I never felt better, just worse. I know I have to survive *through* the sh*t to end up feeling better but it's so hard to do. I've also been blamed for being the bad person when I tried to talk to exhubby about things. But now he's the EX! :) Things are still very hard financially but I don't have to listen to him! Not saying it's a solution for you but I thought it wasn't doable and I'm still here.

I'm usually on here at least once a day if you want to talk. Please be careful of how much meds you take and continue to stay away from alcohol. Always makes me feel worse eventually. Big hugs!!!

I'm sorry you're going through so much right now. I've done the same with the Klonopin but then I never felt better, just worse. I know I have to survive *through* the sh*t to end up feeling better but it's so hard to do. I've also been blamed for being the bad person when I tried to talk to exhubby about things. But now he's the EX! :) Things are still very hard financially but I don't have to listen to him! Not saying it's a solution for you but I thought it wasn't doable and I'm still here.

I'm usually on here at least once a day if you want to talk. Please be careful of how much meds you take and continue to stay away from alcohol. Always makes me feel worse eventually. Big hugs!!!

I'm sorry you're going through so much right now. I've done the same with the Klonopin but then I never felt better, just worse. I know I have to survive *through* the sh*t to end up feeling better but it's so hard to do. I've also been blamed for being the bad person when I tried to talk to exhubby about things. But now he's the EX! :) Things are still very hard financially but I don't have to listen to him! Not saying it's a solution for you but I thought it wasn't doable and I'm still here.

I'm usually on here at least once a day if you want to talk. Please be careful of how much meds you take and continue to stay away from alcohol. Always makes me feel worse eventually. Big hugs!!!

I'm sorry you're going through so much right now. I've done the same with the Klonopin but then I never felt better, just worse. I know I have to survive *through* the sh*t to end up feeling better but it's so hard to do. I've also been blamed for being the bad person when I tried to talk to exhubby about things. But now he's the EX! :) Things are still very hard financially but I don't have to listen to him! Not saying it's a solution for you but I thought it wasn't doable and I'm still here.

I'm usually on here at least once a day if you want to talk. Please be careful of how much meds you take and continue to stay away from alcohol. Always makes me feel worse eventually. Big hugs!!!

Oh! Sorry for the duplicates. Don't know what happened. But here's more hugs!!