it sounds like you need some better supports in your life. Raising a special needs child is an especially hard task. Have you connected with other parents of Autistic children? I would bet that there are some great support groups in your area if you look.

There is a world of difference between needing more in order to do well and just being a bad person/bad mom.

You are not a bad Mom. You are facing immense challenges .. immense. Asp+ADHD ... could not be much more difficult .. for everyone concerned including you.

You are human and the demand on you is tremendous.

With that, . I think you need to seek support for yourself ... regarding the matter. Talk to a professional about the challenge .. and how to lighten the load.

You need help with this .... seek and ye shall find.

Geeez Heidi....

"A 13 year old child with Asperger's and ADHD".... and 13 - so he's hormonal / puberty!!!!

I SERIOUSLY doubt you are a bad mother! I believe you are also TIRED, and need HELP caring for your special needs child.

You are also ILL.... Don't be so hard on yourself!

I did a search and came up with the following link. Must say, disappointing search results (number wise). I haven't read into it... but it may help lead you somewhere to get some help!

http://www.iambackfromthebrink.com/us.html#carers

Hugs

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/

Just keep trying as much as you can and apologize to your son when you get the chance. Its the most anyone could ask for.

http://www.cafemom.com/

The above link has a whole section for Moms parenting Aspies. Go there and search on Asperger's in their search box.

Thank you everyone! I wrote a journal entry about this just now too for anyone who would care to read it and comment on it. Thank you!

You Are NOT a bad mom.
And you are NOT a bad person.

Being a mom is the hardest job in the world. Being a good mom occurs when we try our best. That's all we can do........ try our best.

A 13 year old son is VERY volatile. Whether he has Aspergers or ADD or he's dealing with friends and teachers and GIRLS!!!!!!!

The fact that you WANT to be a Good Mom MAKES you A Good Mom.

Thank you Wallybear. You are so wonderful as always.

Wow Heidi, big hugs to you. Don't beat yourself up. Like someone said, apoligize and keep going. I wish I knew the answers for you. Perhaps some of the links above will help you.

PS when Noel was little I threw a lamp not at her but it ended up on her side of the room. I know now that it was just overwhelming stress and depression. I don't justify my throwing the lamp but I did use it as a reminder NEVER to do it again. It worked for me.

You are not a bad mom!! Sounds like you need some support and a break. Please try to find some it will help both of you.

Good morning Heidi - I have read your post and for the record, I don't think any less of you. As a matter of fact, I think very highly of you for facing this challenge. We all have done things we regret because we are ill. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are doing your best. You are a good mom and a good person. You love your son. I have said some terrible things to my kids when they were younger and I absolutely still kick myself in the rear for being so stupid. But I did my best at the time, I have apologized, and I just try to keep moving forward. It's hard to forgive myself, but I'm trying. Many hugs to you and your son.

your not a bad mom hun. Your totally stressed out and you are dealing with a lot of challenges not including your own. I think you need a thearpist....someone you can take your frustration out on :) seriously, someone who can give you some coping skills and you can talk to and maybe even get some helpful advice.
Your not a bad mom
HUGS

Hugs to you! I have two boys almost 8 and 10, both have ADHD the youngest has some other issues too. I'm a single parent- they have no Dad and we have no extended family, there is just the 3 of us. When my youngest wasn't even 2 I considered finding a couple to adopt my boys, that was BEFORE they started having troubles! I wanted them to have a better life than I could give them. My youngest has had so many troubles since starting school- more than once I thought the school was going to push me to a complete break down. If you already have depression these things seem to be impossible to deal with. I've yelled at my boys and then cried afterwards because I know yelling isn't helping anything. I want so badly to "fix" what's wrong with my boys and I can't. I feel terrible because I am not a "doer" when it comes to joining things, money is tight and I use that as an excuse for not having them in sports etc. the reality is that I find it hard to do things, to go places. I spend time with them, go to the park all the time in the summer etc. there are days though that I think I am just done, burnt out and have nothing left to give. For sure I think my kids deserve better than me too, at least most of the time I think that. I feel incredibly selfish for having them and not giving them a better life, why did I have kids if I can't offer them better than this? I mean I can't even give them a father, or extended family that loves them. Yes there are days that I really truly suck! You have to remember this, you LOVE your son and he loves you! My kids make me crazy most of the time, but I love them, I don't think there is anyone who could ever love them like I do. When the day is bad, think about the good stuff, even with their issues they've got good stuff too. I joined the parents of kids with ADHD support group- there's lots of understanding and you see that you are not alone in this or in how you feel or react to things. I know that other than DS I don't have any support at all- if there is a local support group- try to check it out- there's nothing at all like being with those who know exactly what you are going through and believe me you are not a bad mom or bad person, you are human! You need support and understanding too. It's boggles my mind that they don't give us more support or information on what to for our kids. I just found out that my son should qualify for tax deductions etc. there are programs as well as some financial supports that he should be getting- not so sure why these are kept so secret! If you find a support group you will most likely find lots of new information about things to help your son and you!

Hugs to you Heldi, you care a great deal for your son. You have so much love for him. You give and do the best you can for him. This makes you a loving and caring mom.