I know exactly how you feel. Believe it or not, I find it easier to care about others than myself. I'm having a terrible day so far. Can't bring myself to shower and get out and do anything. I wish I could help you or at the very least give you a hug. I've tried everything over the past 7 months - inpatient therapy, outpatient therapy, group and individual, trips away, laying in bed alone. I find no comfort or solace in any of the things I once loved. All I can do is wait and pray if I see some relief from my new medication and keep talking to my therapist. Do you have a therapist or anyone that can help you?

Hugs, first....give yourself credit. When they look at brains of people who are depressed, they're lit up all over the place. So although you may not look like it...you're running a marathon mentally...no wonder you're tired.

Robert Sapolsky from Stanford on depression:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc

Your situation is completely relatable. But even reaching out to support groups like this is a great step. So you're already doing a good job!

My ex would get upset because I was so dependent on him, he would always say "One day, I'm going to die. And then what will you do with yourself?" Morbid. But true. Not that you shouldn't mourn once a loved one is gone. But life must go one... and all you will truly have in your life is yourself. It's easier said than done. But you have to care for yourself first. Small steps in self care will make you feel much better. Not cured, but I guarantee better. Pamper yourself, whether it's going to get a massage or get your hair done. Or even have an at home spa session and do a nice facial and paint your nails. Be sure to get up, showered, and dressed every day. It sounds small - but it will make you feel more human. Do things that you love - but do it alone. Go to a sit down restaurant by yourself, or go to the movies. It's scary, but you'll feel somewhat empowered by being able to do it. If that's too daring, just go to the park and read alone.

Reaching out for professional help is always a good alternative step. It may help for some, but not everyone. But just like my advice on self care above may not be for everyone. But the idea is that it is important to discover yourself and to find what you enjoy, or things that work for you or not. Once you are comfortable with who you are - you're relationships with others will flourish.

I don't know what your situation is or the circumstances, but from what you wrote I understand and feel your pain. I know I am a total stranger but I do care and hope that you know that there are people on here like me that care and understand also. Your reaching out is a good thing. Although all I can give you is emotional support and hugs I want you to know that it is from my heart. I know it isn't much but it is all I can do. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that things get better. I know that when I have negative thoughts about myself I have to remember that I am not my thoughts or my feelings. Getting better takes time and effort on our part. We have to stick together in these rough times and be grateful for the compassion and caring of others. When we have a hard time dealing with our emotions it is comforting to know that people can relate to us and that there is a site like this for us to converse and seek help and advice. I hope and cling to the thought that the day will arrive and all is well in our lives. May God Bless you and keep you safe... Respectfully.
David..