hey, do you want to message me privately and talk about this? You're not alone and just know that we are all here to support you no matter what <3

Oh, I'm glad Nohbdy is here to talk to u! I was only gonna suggest punching a pillow or actually screaming outloud if you had the privacy, in the meantime, just to let some out.

Yeah, I'm here so that people can vent all their problems and use me as a punching bag because ya know we all could let out a ton of energy sometimes. Know that it was to be in a healthy way ok? Stay safe

I guess I could give it a try

If you feel like screaming, try screaming into the pillow and make sure you come up for air or even try sing screaming e.g. sing along loudly even if it is out of tune, it can be fun. After screaming, you will probably feel lighter like a weight lifted off your chest and you can breathe normal. Hope you feel better.

Hey, I wish I could talk to you. I have been there many times my self. You don't want to die you just want the pain to stop. Have you ever heard of narcissistic abuse syndrome? I think maybe you should look it up. It's in what you said about you just want it to stop. Maybe you know something is wrong but can't quite put your finger on it. These types of people can be very covert. You can think they love you to pieces but they really want you to die. I come from a whole family of people like this. I am their victim. Unfortunately I did not figure it out till I was 59. But the anxiety and shame and guilt are all gone. My life is a total shambles. I am just going to scrap it and start a new one if my old friend will let me stay with her a while. Pray if you believe that sort of thing I move to Tennessee. No one here my husband or kids see me for who I really am. Just the sick person they created. I can't live with that.So it's time to move on. My kids all worship my mother they will never believe me what she did. She will never admit it either. I wish you luck. Keep searching the answer is there somewhere.Good Luck

I have been there you just want the pain to stop that's all. Don't do anything to harm yourself. I know that nagging feeling that it's something wrong with you. But it's not it's the narcissist in your life. I read somewhere that if you felt like you wanted to die. It's because they want you to commit suicide. I have tried that many times. One member of my birth family tried to kill me. But it was my mothers idea. My friend came along and stopped my brother from dropping me out a two story window. I thought he was playing at the time. But he was not. Hind sight is really 20/20. I told my mother and all she did was laughingly chase him chasing me up Lookout mountain.It's horrible to have those as your childhood memories. My mother wanted me dead. But she pretended to be my best friend all my life I am now 59 just realized she was a narc all along. She tried to destroy everything I tried to accomplish she even stole my daughter.That she tricked me into a relationship with an old boyfriend the result was a daughter. That she stole away. I hope things are getting better for you. Good luck