Who cares if they have to jump sideways through "impossible" hoops to help you? It's important for people to try hard to help people they care about. As for people "feeling sorry for themselves," nothing wrong with that either. Shit happens, and some people have a hard time dealing with it for various reasons and thats ok.I really hope you will reconsider, feel everything that is happening, but let those friends jump through hoops to help you. There might not be anything else and I think even an infinitesimally small chance for a better future beats nothing.

Please do not reply to this with 'feel good' and 'the sun will shine again tomorrow'. It will not help. I am not going to take the pills so don't panick. I guess it's just easier to vent here because there's no one that looks you in the eye and say 'we love you, we can't live without you'.

The facts are this: my mother and father were not meant for each other. I should never have been born. There was no plan for my life because my life was never planned. Now, unfortunately, other people - innocent, wonderful people, have to suffer my intollerant and constant depression. It makes their lives bitter and unhappy, but they're too afraid to say anything because they fear it will make me feel bad.

There is probably no-one who will even read this anyway.

Personally, I don't accept the idea that a depressed person causes others' unhappiness. Maybe you've been blamed for that (I know I have), but listening to a friend shouldn't be a burden.

I read something the other day on FB. I know people don't like religious post but this hit home with me. I was not planned either, once my Mom told me if abortions had been legal back then I would not be here. How sweet to hear from the only one you have to depend on. Anyway....here it goes

Your parents may not have planned you but God did" " You may not have plans for your life but God does".

You may have been the best thing that came from your parent union. I know I ended up being the favorite child. Not trying to be all roses and sunshine but I liked the saying. It helped me.

If those innocent and wonderful people in your life are making you feel this way...I would say they're just not understanding the disease. A cancer patient can certainly be depressing to those around them, just by the sheer horror of the disease. You didn't ask for this, just as a cancer patient doesnt' ask for cancer.

I'm not saying that makes anything better, just try to remember it instead of beating yourself up for causing others pain. Yes it's difficult to be around a person with depression sometimes. But you did not ask to be depressed.

I agree with summer.... this disease is a bitch and its a hard one to explain to anyone that just does not get it..They think we feel sorry for ourselves, that we are lazy, that we seek attention... If they could only feel what we feel but they will not know... Sure something will happen to them that will bring them down for awhile but they will never understand what we go through on a daily basis...Depression takes all the positive things from us and tells us we are not good enough to be here... Dont listen to it.... I wont sugar coat it cause its hard, very hard... But you need to fight it with everything you have... Good luck sweetie... we do understand

If you need to vent, go ahead and vent away.

My mother and father werent meant for each other also. My father fucked around on my mother with someone, then had me...that chic skipped town after having me, and my mother and father were stuck with me. My life has been riddled with shit since then.

The sun will shine tomorrow. It will rain as well. Just because we are like this doesnt mean we cant be good people and do good.

I know how hard it is to convince someone when they have their minds set. When I had my "Incodent" nobody in the world could have told me to stop.

Now that I survived that, along with all the other shit in my life (Some still happening) I realised that I would have missed some cool stuff.

Life is all about ups and downs. After that, I just looked at society and life at a different angle. Now I just gather info so to speak and sit back and let it go down. Life is beautiful, if only for short moments.

We all wear a mask every fucking day. We arent bad people, in fact I think we fucking rock. The shit we go though every day just to wake up, is more than the "normal" person has to do. I think we are strong people.

You are as well. We all have our week moments, and its okay to break down and say I really dont know what the fuck Im going to do. Hell i say that all the time, and yes it scares the shit out of me. Thats life, its scary, shitty, wonderful, funny, and hard as fuck to go though.

You can do it, I survived this long so can you!

its easier to think that suicide will get you out of your problems.

But sometimes, you can get out of your prob. with counseling, and an antidepressant. I was in horrible anguish with my aunt passed, it took 2 1/2 years to feel better.

But after that, I found a vocation, animals, I got 5 pets and the love I got from them were worth the 2 1/2 yrs of miserably.

Be kind to yourself today, please....

call 1-800-suicide, they will help ....

meyers

A cancer patient gets to say, "I am tired. I want to stop this sort of non living." and no one judges them for essentially ending thier lives.

Emotional pain is way worse than physical. I have both so I really do know.

Can you check in with us, let us know how you're doing? I'm not sure what you mean by "I'm only posting this so that maybe someone, someday, can tell what they read here to someone else and stop feeling sorry for themselves." but if you think your suicide will help others understand depression then that's far too high a price to pay.

I've been where you are and I know you don't want to hear that things will get better. Thing is, how do you move on from this awful, low place? For me it was a spell in hospital and a new drug. Are you seeing anyone who can help review your meds?

Vent away; people do read stuff ;)

I think a lot of people think of suicide as stopping all problems, but they don't realize that it also stops thought, emotion, and life. Once you take that step, there's no changing your mind or explaining. Maybe that sounds like what you want, but you can get through this. And when you do, you'll realize that you didn't want what you thought you did.

A counsellor once told me that being depressed is like carrying a huge backpack through life while everyone else has a purse or a wallet. We carry so much more with us that it takes us longer to get over those mountains in our lives. We can't expect ourselves to keep pace with someone who only has to carry a fraction of what we carry. The good thing is that inside those backpacks are tools we can use to help us over future obstacles.

I hope these comments help.

suicide with pills can be extremely painful. I OD'd on Lamictal and was screaming in the ambulance.

just sayin', because I know when I get like this there's nothing anyone can say

sooner or later the cloud lifts