Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
It's 3:30 in the night where I am right now. I just had one of the worst nightmares in my life so I turned the light on and I'm sitting alone in my room.
I woke up feeling scared of everything. Scared of the dark, scared of the door to the outside world, scared of ghosts and demons created by my own mind. That was kind of the point of the dream. Just showing me how there is a part of me that I wasn't even aware of, a part of me that just wants to hurt me. I saw two little girls that were staring at me with such extreme hatred. (I watched ready player one recently so therest where that imagery comes from.) I knew they were me and that I was dreaming. It just didn't help to know I was dreaming. Oddly, imagining weird and scary creatures trying to hurt me makes me feel less agitated. It's one of those things where the more you fight it, the worse it gets. Gotta address those fears rather than trying to avoid thinking of them. Is it likely that anything or anyone could have entered the house and is now hiding and trying to kill me later? Very much not likely. I have slept in this same place before. My parents have lived here for almost a year. There's not a whole lot of serial killers running around here, just looking for young blond girls to kill. Life is not a scream movie.
I haven't watched a scary movie in forever. I guess maybe ready player one set me off. Sad because I did not experience it as a bad movie at all.
Now I'm wondering if that part of me that hates me actually exists or if the dream just showed me a concept that I was afraid of.
I kind of want to search the house for serial killers but it's a really big house do I might just wait it out. At 5 am my stepbrother will get up and I'll be a lot less scared when there's someone else. I'm kinda feeling dat social anxiety though more strongly than usual right now. All kinds of fear seems to be increased.
There was background music. "Love wakes you up. Love fucks you up. Love killed so many people." It had such a good melody that I was tempted to sing it when I woke up. But I was scared it would sort of summon everything I am scared of.
The whole world suddenly seems a lot scarier.