Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hi
I have a good heart and as a child I was always a people pleaser. Now I am dealing once again with the fall out of what I learned to do as a child. I have had the same roommate for two years and he asked me to borrow a lot of money after living with me for more than a year. He offered to pay me a high interest rate and I would have his car as collateral, so I figure I knew him enough and he told me he was going to just take the loan , put the money in the bank and use it for a right off on his taxes. He paid me interest only payments for one year on time and always paid his rent on time, even though he travel a lot and was barely home. I took care of his dog when he traveled. When the loan came due he told me he did not have the money to pay me off. During the year I loan him the money he paid for sending his young son to a very expensive private school and told me he paid his son's mother child support and money to live on and paid their expensive rent. He also told me that he paid his ex-wife alimony and bragged about all the homes his family owed and rental properties, boats etc. Now I found out that about 12 years ago he lost everything his business, 28 rental properties, all his savings and retirement and he is still married according to his daughter. He still works at 67 yrs old and tells me he make $150.00 a hour, but does not have the money to pay me back. Now I feel so stupid, betrayed and duped. Everything he told me was a lie and I believe it. He must of had a nervous breakdown. Now I have to find the car to repossess it and he has many places were he can hide it and he keeps telling lies about where he is and what he did with the car "the loan was my life savings". I am 56yrs never ran into a person like this and now have the stress to repossess the car, which I know nothing about. Not one of my friends will help me with this and I do not talked with my family any more and my only grown daughter is still mad at her so-called horrible childhood that she will not help, I told her I would trade her childhood for the one I had in a second, she does not know what real abuse is. I am a survivor from many different varieties of abuse and that is where I learn play the good girl and the people pleaser, The worse part is I let this man live in my home and trusted him for 2 years and everything was a lie, he like my family did years ago screwed with my reality and now I am so mad and hurt at the same time. Thanks for letting me vent!
I have a good heart and as a child I was always a people pleaser. Now I am dealing once again with the fall out of what I learned to do as a child. I have had the same roommate for two years and he asked me to borrow a lot of money after living with me for more than a year. He offered to pay me a high interest rate and I would have his car as collateral, so I figure I knew him enough and he told me he was going to just take the loan , put the money in the bank and use it for a right off on his taxes. He paid me interest only payments for one year on time and always paid his rent on time, even though he travel a lot and was barely home. I took care of his dog when he traveled. When the loan came due he told me he did not have the money to pay me off. During the year I loan him the money he paid for sending his young son to a very expensive private school and told me he paid his son's mother child support and money to live on and paid their expensive rent. He also told me that he paid his ex-wife alimony and bragged about all the homes his family owed and rental properties, boats etc. Now I found out that about 12 years ago he lost everything his business, 28 rental properties, all his savings and retirement and he is still married according to his daughter. He still works at 67 yrs old and tells me he make $150.00 a hour, but does not have the money to pay me back. Now I feel so stupid, betrayed and duped. Everything he told me was a lie and I believe it. He must of had a nervous breakdown. Now I have to find the car to repossess it and he has many places were he can hide it and he keeps telling lies about where he is and what he did with the car "the loan was my life savings". I am 56yrs never ran into a person like this and now have the stress to repossess the car, which I know nothing about. Not one of my friends will help me with this and I do not talked with my family any more and my only grown daughter is still mad at her so-called horrible childhood that she will not help, I told her I would trade her childhood for the one I had in a second, she does not know what real abuse is. I am a survivor from many different varieties of abuse and that is where I learn play the good girl and the people pleaser, The worse part is I let this man live in my home and trusted him for 2 years and everything was a lie, he like my family did years ago screwed with my reality and now I am so mad and hurt at the same time. Thanks for letting me vent!
For you to recover your losses, you must be sure the loan was made legally ... as in a written legal agreement. Hopefully, you have one. Once defaulted, you have to go through a legal process to succeed in any recovery .. usually obtain a judgement. As for repossessing the car, that will probably be virtually impossible on your own, but there are professionals who can do the job for you and can be sure it is done legally. Obtaining their services can be expensive as well.
In my opinion, and based on information provided, your first course of action is a lawsuit and its success is dependent on what kind of documentation you have ... mainly a loan agreement. Given you have a suitable one, as well as the total amount you are sueing for, it will fall either inside or outside a Small Claims action. If it falls outside of that court, you will probably need a lawyer which will also be expensive.
Keep in mind, even if you win the suit, collecting is then another matter. It is impossible to collect something from someone who does not have it. You may have access to some of his assets (the car), his employment income (attached wages), or? or? but debt collection is a billion dollar business and is complex and expensive to implement.
I predict you will discover you do not have the resources to effectively recover much if anything and will have to realize that in order to effectively and safely lend money, very specific arrangements must be made .. mostly legal ones. If a loan is made without those arrangements, the lender most always loses.
This is why banks are in business, . they know how to make a 'good loan' or recover from a bad one. I am afraid you are going to have to learn something from this, and have serious doubts you will recover anything at all.
This can cause you extreme grief, anger, and depression. I hope you don't let that happen, because this type of thing is what USUALLY happens .. rather than the exception. It has been a 'problem' since the dawn of man.
"he signed a promissory note"
GREAT!! Depending on what that note says, you probably have legal recourse.
"and he changed the note in his mind to having to pay me back $500 a month, but I never agreed to any changes in the note."
Doesn't matter what is in "his mind". What matters is the terms and conditions in the written note.
>>He kept giving me post dated checks too and paid me back just a little bit.
I suggest you compile a history of what he paid, when he paid it, any problems with 'bad checks', and what you have done to try to collect (written letters, phone calls, etc).
>>When I started catching him in lies, that is when he started to hide the car.
That would be part of the history on what has happened as you have tried to collect on the note.
>> I also forgot to say I am lien holder on the pink slip, which I have, that is why I believe I can take the car back
Then you have every right and authority to take the car back. The problem is how to do it. I AM NOT SURE this is the right way to go .. but you could POSSIBLY report it stolen. This may be the 'magic bullet' or be a big mistake.
>>and hopefully I do not have to go to court.
Maybe not .. on repossessing the car. It is clear from the Title you have a right to it .. but I am not sure about any of the 'legal' part of this whole situation.
"2000 Porsche Boxster"
WOW, .. we ARE talking some $$$ here. Are you the ONLY lien holder? If so, I URGE you to figure out how to repossess that car. I just looked up "2000 Porsche boxter value" and come up with:
retail value $16,188 at:
www.motortrend.com/cars/2000/porsche/boxster/pricing/index.html
"I know I need to speak with an attorney"
I certainly think you do .. keeping in mind, the car is just PART of the 'loss'. Soooo, get on the phone and call Attorneys in your area and find out how much an INITIAL CONSULTATION costs. Should not be more than $100-$200.
What is MOST important is you are prepared to describe the WHOLE SITUATION to the attorney .. within about an hour ... so compile a good 'statement' and take it with you.
You have a lot of 'rights to recovery' .. you just have to initiate the process to recover. You really need to spend an hour with an attorney and at least get possession of that car.
. www.ehow.com/how_16620_repossess-car.html
. www.ehow.com/how_2387576_exercise-car-repossession-rights.html