Hiya Anna,

I'm sorry you've had to experience such situations with your family. It's difficult because you have to come to terms that family members aren't the support network you need and in fact can be potential triggers which make your life a living hell. I feel this is more in the venting sense but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone and there are ways out of it.

If it is possible you can reduce the contact you do have with those who make you feel this way, at the end of the day you honestly don't owe them anything especially if they are unable to resolve and be accountable for their actions. Also true family doesn't have to be blood related, I've found true family members outside of my blood family who understand and accept me for myself and not what they want you to be.
One thing that has helped me is posting on here and responding to other posts while finding those who relate to what I have experienced.

This is what I have found to help me, I hope you find those who know how to love you for you and stick with friends who make you feel good to be yourself :)

Thank you for sharing. It is very difficult, when abuse comes from a family member. It is always picking an open wound, because of unconditional love. Respect and Trust are two-way streets. Hate is a most powerful acid, as it burns and eats away everything. Good to find a professional, like a Therapist or Counselor, to vent out that acid, before it burns you horribly. Your family lost your Respect and broke your Trust. It is an awful thing, as it means they don't get to really know you. Hate can change us into bitter miserable people. Best to vent that out, or it is like reliving that abuse daily. Important to also distance yourself from any family member that makes you feel that way, as they are triggers. You can still be you, without being eaten away by hate. Thank you. God Bless.

Very good and wise responses. That you so much. I agree about the hate eating me up. My father who physically and emotionally abused me when I was little and couldn't get away does not take any responsibility for his actions. In fact, he denies it ever happened. The physical abuse anyway. And he has said this publicly. It's demeaning and aggressive and awful. He still is emotionally abusive. I have tried over the years to have a relationship with him because he is not all bad. We did some nice things as a family although I think there is a line that is crossed that cannot really be made up for with a subsequent kindness or whatever. Yes, they have lost my respect and trust. My brother also assaulted physically when I was an adult and neither of my parents care. They treat him like the golden child no matter what he does. I have asked them both to say something to me, to have some kind of reaction but neither one care. Even my mother who is the "nice" one of the bunch. She let everything happen and didn't do anything to protect me. I feel so much rage toward her for that and she also denies this. She said she didn't know. SHE KNEW. My sister is a cold hearted narcissistic bitch. In some ways she's the worst of the bunch because she lies, manipulates and gas lights and most people are fooled by her. She wants to be seen as a nice person and image is everything to her. Most people don't know who she really is and they but into all her crap. My dad does this too. He tries to present himself and as good person that he is not. People on the outside just don't know and people on the inside of the family don't seem to care.. except for me. I care. I think it is awful and guess what, I'm the family scapegoat. I'm the one with the problem. I'm the one who is crazy. It's complete bullshit. I know I should have nothing to do with any of them but it's really hard because my parents are elderly and need help and i don't have friends. I've problems my whole life making friends. My therapist is shit but I havne't had time or energy to find a new one. I'm beyond frustrated and angry and yea, it's eating me alive. You know, it's absolutely amazing how much damage an abusive family can cause to a child and how much they carry that into adulthood. I mean it can literally ruin you. It's so strange how that works and how hard it is to find a way out. At least for me, I haven't found my way out. Thanks for letting me vent here.