You're Not Going Insane Sweetheart. And You Are NOT An Idiot.

When I Used To Feel Like This, Writing Helped A Lot................

It Also Helped To Draw. I Have Sketch Pads Full Of Things That Came Out When I Was Depressed Or Sad Or Angry............

I Hope You Feel Better Very Soon , Honey.

Sending (((((HUGS))))))

Everything you said and then some is what I feel or have felt. It's so confusing! Like you said you cant stand to look at ppl because you're afraid of what they think f you, yet you also feel that they are not thinking of you at all.

I want to tell you the exact right thing to do to make the bad feelings go away, but of course I don't have the answer. I can tell you to hang in there because although today isnt so good tomorrow may bring a turnaround that you need. If you need to sleep, do so. I think that it's the body's way of healing when things get to be too much for us. Know that there are ppl here feeling the same and trying to figure it out. We're still here is my point. You can make it through!!

So sorry to hear you're having a very bad time.

One thing you can do that will help, and you c-a-n do this: don't waste
any of your time caring what other people think. It doesn't serve any purpose. You have no control over it, and it doesn't matter.

EFT - called tapping therapy - I'm like the person who just got religion
when it comes to this -- you actually do tap on your head and other
places on your body - not hit, but firmly tap, and you don't have to believe in it -- it works, it's free -- if you look it up, some people like to put their own (often unnecessary) spin on it, but, just the tapping, consistently, effects your mood, thoughts, etc --
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_4vPOdyP1E
-- if you don't like that one, there's others.

I hope things are much better, soon. Sending you good thoughts.
================================================
"Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you."

Just wanted to say my thoughts are with you. What you wrote could have been me writing. Just keep fighting, one day at a time, one moment at a time. It's what I do. Enjoy the good moments when you can and try not to beat yourself up. Lots of hugs!

I've felt what you're feeling. You're not an irrational idiot. People are most likely not thinking bad thoughts about you though. That is one thing about depression. We think everyone is thinking bad thoughts about us when they're really not.

Not one of us would of chouise to have depression .....it is a hard fight ......more like a war for me that I have to fight every day ....I have had it all my life to one degree or a norther ....when you say the world is trying to break you that is the depreshion talking making whatever is going on in your life way worse than it has to be ........wanting to just sleep is a norther part of depreshion ......confusion a norther.......one thing you are not an idiot .....thinking that you know that people are thinking badly about is a norther symptom..... In reality they have there Owen things on there mind .....I use to wish I was going insane.... because I thought it would be easer than being depressed ...you are not going insane.............. it is Avery good step on the way to recovery that you have come here ....here people understand depreshion and all that we go through ...a very important thing in getting better is to talk and I learned that the hard way ..I never would talk I kept everything inside all the hurt all the pain ....until I ended up in the hospital on the phic ward .....they had to give me ect because u was going down to far to fast .....I learned to talk .....and I never ever want to go back to that dark place again ...even though I still fight depreshion .....when it gets bad I go and get the medical help I need so I get a phicaatrist and go on meds ....and I talk .....and since I talk ...I have never gotten that bad since ....that was ....30. Years ago .......I don't know if you have a counclor or a phicaatrist but if you don't than you should think about getting one ........I can not stress enough how important it is to talk and get everything out .....all of it .....and if you are not on meds they would relay help with a lot of those simp toms ........if you are on meds than you should look into getting them adjusted and when you talk to your doctor you relay have to tell them exactly how bad it is inside or they can't help you ....I wish you all the best I will keep you in my prayers ....god bless

It is difficult not to think that people are thinking bad thoughts but you can reframe situations to try to think "Oh maybe they are having a bad day." If they are jerks, to heck with them.

I used to care what people thought to the point that it made me physically sick.

And yes, it is very important-life or death- to eat properly. When you are older you can get panic attacks that are worsened by starvation or not eating right. Even if you are young, not eating can make your emotions go all over the place because of low blood sugar.

DBT is good; finding a group of like minded friends is good; finding activities you like are good as well.

STay away from toxic and dangerous people.

Stay around positive family and friends if possible.

TAke care of you.

Super hugs,
RAP (Cate)

Most people are waaaaaay too self absorbed to make the effort to think bad thoughts about other people. And if they do, I like the expression "it's none of my business what other people think of me"... lol....so true.

I'm having a similar day as you. I'm trying my best to fight it. I was just thinking "I wish there was an OFF button for the thoughts" It would be so much easier to live and do things if that constant barrage of bad thoughts wasn't distracting me from doing things and bringing me down. I'm trying to keep busy...I'm about to vacuum and blast some music so I can hear something besides the negative dialogue in my head. Cleaning helps a lot when my thoughts are beating me up... it gives me something else to think about, and I feel better when my living space is clean and organized. Let's make this a great day, we still have time before January 17th ends...I'm going to give it my best shot. Hope you do too.