Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Ravens13 12/02/2017

3 months ago I was a perfectly normal sane individual. Everything got harder and harder and next thing I know I'm sitting in front of a counsler after calling the National Hotline. I since have realized that I had GAD, Existential Depression, and OCD. I have become incredibly depersonalized and I feel like I'm walking around in a movie. I've been holding steady and pushing through for a better tomorrow and I've started Zoloft 2 weeks ago (extremely minor improvement).

My my biggest problem has been I look around at people older than me and I get so anxious and terrified thinking, "How do people do it, everyday, wake up, go to work, go home, have kids, and grow old" and yet I wake up every morning and am terrified that I still exist, that it's all still here and will continue to be! it feels like a hamster wheel of futility. I don't think I want to die, but I don't want to continue like this, it's like I've stumbled upon the unanswerable question and it has made life feel unbearable and SOOOOOO incredibly long. I almost feel like I'm counting down to my old age rather than freaking out about how short life is.

Maybe just typing this out helps me feel better but I'd love to know I'm not alone in this thinking and that there is relief out there.

TL;DR. What the hell are we all doing here?!?!

ThatOne 12/02/2017

I don't know how it is for you but I have highs and lows every day. So while in some moments I hope life just ends quickly and easily, in other moments I feel very close to this big gratitude for existing and breathing in every moment. (Even though the intensity of being alive scares me shitless).
Just take it day by day and don't worry so much about the future. Take into consideration what thoughts are actually going to be helpful moving forward and set goals to where forwards is... You don't need to have all the answers. Maybe it can help if you can accept being just a humble human, someone who doesn't have all the answers. Just like everyone else. I find that to be a comforting thought. I don't know if this helps you at all but I wish you good luck.

RJW 12/02/2017

Thank you for sharing. Depersonalization is extremely scary. It has helped me to remember what is real and use that as an anchor. We are all unique, so finding that anchor is equally unique. I like to think that we older people are still around to share our journey to try to help out anyone who might be suffering. No one can know actually where you have been, but they can give hope in knowing it is possible to live with that gray cloud. Right now everything is new to you, and that can be the biggest unwelcome shock to the system. Professionals like Counselors and Doctors are there to help. I remember when I first touched the emptiness. It made me never to ever want to go back there. You are important, as is your life. You have even helped me by you being you. Thank you and God Bless.

sharaninmd 12/03/2017

I am sorry for what you are going through. You need to allow more time for the medicine to become fully effective. It usually takes three to four weeks to work. Keep track of how you are feeling at the end of four weeks and if you don't notice any improvement, talk to your doctor about adjusting your medication. Continue to see your counselor. If you feel they are not helping you, try seeing another one until you find one that you feel is helping you and who you are comfortable with. I wish you the best.

WanderingVet 12/03/2017

I assume these are 'formal' diagnoses .. from a medical professional (Doctor). Hence, the Zoloft.

First, I want to ask you to relax. This is a lot to absorb in a 90-day period. EVERYTHING you 'have' is treatable. You can 'get back to normal' and manage all these things ... but it will take some time. Time to determine the best medications, right dosage, and time for your body to effectively react to them.

You are not necessarily worse of than millions of other people with your problems. Many of them are here on DS. RELAX ... and work with your therapist/doctor as the case may be. They have the training, education, understanding and means to help you. NO ONE ELSE does. Feed back to them and take their advice. Do BOTH, and you can recover.

Finally, .. avail yourself to us on DS. We will keep you encouraged and to our ability, advised. DON'T WORRY.

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