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I dont want to kill myself but I don' want to live

AnxiousCanuck
AnxiousCanuck

Hi,



There's nothing anyone can do but it's just nice to talk about it. I don't like to say I suffer from arthritis, depression, anxiety and fibro but I have it and I dont want it to win. I'm 27 and I feel like my life has been taken from me. I don't want to live in pain every day but I dont want to kill myself because besides being in pain 24/7 I have great family and love. I just dont want to livd like this. Medication at my age is just not an option for me. I want to have kids and not have my liver or kidneys fail because of the drugs. I also don't want to build a tolerance so when I'm 60 and can't get out of bed I can depend on drugs. I'm just tired of every part of my body giving up on me. I'm tired of not being able to enjoy things...... 

James.b_66
James.b_66
This isnt meant to solve anything, but life is one hell of a road. The fact that youre still going means you have hope that things will get better. And sometimes that hope is what you need to thrive. Appreciate everyone and everything you still have left and love as much as you can. Stay away from negative people and keep the good ones closest. And just maybe you'll find a way to focus on something else besides pain.
Tired
Tired
Talk to your doctor and see if there are pill options that won't
stop working when your 60 and you can go off of when you want to get pregnant. Not all drugs are going to mess up your body. See what your options are. Have you been to a pain clinic? Tried meditation, yoga, mild
exercise, visualization, or other things like that? Read any books on some
of your problems and see if you get some ideas that can help you? Explore your options. You might find help.
bethelbee
bethelbee
Most of the drugs that are out are not going to mess up your body. I was on Prozac for 10 years(started right after it first came out) before it stopped working, then on Celexa for about the same amount of time and same results. They both worked great and I never had a problem with either of them. Was on others that worked in varying degrees and some that didn't work at all. Everyone's body is different and will react differently. I have become treatment resistant to meds and am getting ready to start TMS next week.
Talk to your doctor about your concerns and about the fact that you eventually(or sooner) want to get pregnant. Meds aren't everything but they can help along with therapy. Keep us posted.
8Twenty8
8Twenty8
Hi AnxiousCanuck. Thanks for sharing and having the courage not to attempt suicide. Unlike your pain, suicide is permanent. What I find most impressive about your post, is your willingness to put others before you and your needs. You do this by attempting to manage your pain instead of completing suicide.

Previous responses to your post have suggested some very good ideas in managing this pain and should be investigated. One thought that hasn't been suggested, and can be included with any of the previous suggestions, is prayer. Considering your values, you may already be practicing prayer. Regardless of where your spiritual convictions are at this time, we may come to a time when our human needs cannot be satisfied by human capacities. There is a peace the often passes our understanding, when we totally surrender to our God. I cannot promise that the pain will cease or even diminished, but I can promise you that you have turned to the source of your total supply.

Let us know how any of these suggestions work for you because we care.
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