So I didn’t get finished because I had a text message from work. So any how, I expressed my opinion and she of course went the other direction, I feel like an asshole, which then makes me depressed, and for some reason this is the suicidal depression, not that I want to die now, but feeling like now I can die in peace, kind of thinking. A “I give up on everything “ sort of feeling.

Hi whatswrong19, you and your Mom are grieving because your Dad is unwell and has a poor prognosis. You don't want to accept that reality, the stress is overwhelming, so you run away from your predicament, your grief. Your mother is also making plans to deal with the inevitable, and you have found it hard to accept the eventuality.

I understand what you are going through right now, your stress, your panic and pain. These were the feelings I had to confront when my Dad was dying, and in the years after his passing.

All I can advise is, take the precious time left to be with your parents, to comfort them, to love them, and to cherish the moments. These are the moments you will reflect on with love and happiness for the rest of your life. Accept that your mother is also suffering and in distress, as making plans in a stressful situation is your mother's way of controlling the situation, controlling her emotions.

Death is not the way out. Life is full of hope. As there are sufferings, there will be hope. Perhaps your father will recover after all as a gift from the grace of God.

I pray to God that He will heal your father, so that your family can reunite in love and happiness, God bless.

Don't worry about it. So long as you can draw the line at maintaining your health and not do anything stupid to make it worse, it's fine to to do a reset once in while. Just let all the worry go and let nature take its course. If nothing exciting happens, it won't be long before you get bored of that too and decide to do something about it. Then you'll have your direction and purpose back.

Sorry to hear about your dad. Do something to make yourself feel better. You could find closure by getting a necklace with his name or do what i did in your situation and devote a muscle tune to him. God bless.