Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Thank you all for being so supportive. I've found a lot of support here, and lots of kind words from lovely, beautiful people. But I think I'm done.
My Mother once again lost it at me and said some really horrible things to me, and I just can't take it anymore. I've been pushed too far this time, and I'm completely and utterly fed up with my life. Once again I am all alone, and left all by myself, and I can only take so much loneliness.
I've cut so much in the last hour, there was literally blood everywhere. And I really really need stitches, but really I just don't care. Nothing takes this pain away, not even cutting. This emptiness and hurt I'm always feeling, I'll do anything to make it stop. And it isn't going to stop unless I do something about it. Even if the only thing to do is take that one way out, I'll do it. I don't really see the point of anything anymore. There isn't a point anymore. Why should I live for nothing... I'm hopeless.
So I just wanted to say goodbye, just in case I become irrational, and choose to leave tonight. I've been drinking and I took a lot more Klonopin than I should have, I'vebeen eating them like candy. So who knows where my head is at right now, or if I am even stable at the moment,or if I'll make it through the night, but I guess I'll see. There is a bottle of sleeping pills calling my name. It's just that easy to swallow and take that a drink.
So even though "I" might not be personally making the choice to hang on any longer, doesn't mean anyone else should ever ever ever give up.
And even though I know it will hurt the only three people that care somewhat about me, I just don't mind
anymore. I'm going to be selfish this time and think about what will make me happy, for once. I never get to be put first. Is this a horribly sad thing to do to my sister? She's really my only concern. She's been though so much in her life, she doesn't need this. She doesn't need to hear how her sister is dead.But I can't cope much longer.
I'mnotsure what I am going to do anymore. Hopefully I'll just fall asleep for the night, and not do it. But what if I do... God this is just an ongoing struggle with me.
Maybe suicide isn't ashorrible, complicated, and depressing as everyone thinks. Maybe it's okay to just let go sometimes.
My Mother once again lost it at me and said some really horrible things to me, and I just can't take it anymore. I've been pushed too far this time, and I'm completely and utterly fed up with my life. Once again I am all alone, and left all by myself, and I can only take so much loneliness.
I've cut so much in the last hour, there was literally blood everywhere. And I really really need stitches, but really I just don't care. Nothing takes this pain away, not even cutting. This emptiness and hurt I'm always feeling, I'll do anything to make it stop. And it isn't going to stop unless I do something about it. Even if the only thing to do is take that one way out, I'll do it. I don't really see the point of anything anymore. There isn't a point anymore. Why should I live for nothing... I'm hopeless.
So I just wanted to say goodbye, just in case I become irrational, and choose to leave tonight. I've been drinking and I took a lot more Klonopin than I should have, I'vebeen eating them like candy. So who knows where my head is at right now, or if I am even stable at the moment,or if I'll make it through the night, but I guess I'll see. There is a bottle of sleeping pills calling my name. It's just that easy to swallow and take that a drink.
So even though "I" might not be personally making the choice to hang on any longer, doesn't mean anyone else should ever ever ever give up.
And even though I know it will hurt the only three people that care somewhat about me, I just don't mind
anymore. I'm going to be selfish this time and think about what will make me happy, for once. I never get to be put first. Is this a horribly sad thing to do to my sister? She's really my only concern. She's been though so much in her life, she doesn't need this. She doesn't need to hear how her sister is dead.But I can't cope much longer.
I'mnotsure what I am going to do anymore. Hopefully I'll just fall asleep for the night, and not do it. But what if I do... God this is just an ongoing struggle with me.
Maybe suicide isn't ashorrible, complicated, and depressing as everyone thinks. Maybe it's okay to just let go sometimes.
I woke up with my Aunt with me. So I'm not alone. I'm not alone. For once I'm not alone, and that feels nice. I think I'm going to be somewhat okay now since I'm not alone...
I'll be okay for now.
Xoxo