Damn....I could have written that word for word....that really hits close to home for me.

I also keep fighting....keep hoping.....that's all we can do and just keep looking for that sliver of bright light that will hopefully shine on us fully one day.

{{{{{Hugs}}}}

So...you're tired of it....monotony, stress, boredom, meaninglessness.

You are the only one who can change it.

You say that you are hoping that someday your life will mean something. How can you make that happen?

Give of your time to others who are even worse off than you. It will mean a lot, and make you feel really good.

Hope you get some peace and sunshine on your life soon!

Good vent.

I have a friend who was in a similar situation 2 years ago.

But he said he was too damn stubborn to off himself just in case his life got better someday.

Well, it did & he is finally happy after 2 years of Hell.

Hugs

'If you always do what you've always done,,,you'll always get what you always got'...........make some changes,,in life or perpective..and good luck,,dont give up

that's good adivce daisylou... if I were in a position to change anything.

Right now I am stuck.

I can't change my financial situation. It is what it is.
I'm trying to put myself through university with no help from anyone. I can't find a full time job. I'm pouring coffee for ten bucks an hour not even getting full time hours for the summer. I work shitty hours, so I can't make time commitments to anyone or anything other than my crappy ass job. I'm trying to find something better but there is nothing out there. I've send out probably close to 400 resumes in the past 3 - 4 months. I handed out in person over 60 last week alone.

I can't just drop out of school for a year or two to try to save some money, because once I'm out of school for 6 months I have to start paying all my loans back - payments of over $300 a month. So I am stuck. I have to stay in school, and i have to keep working a shitty job, and I can't make any meaningful commitments such as a volunteer or romantic. I've been seeing a dude since like February, but he's starting to get pissed off that I cancel on him all the time to pick up extra shifts. I've told him I can't be his girlfriend right now. I can't be anyones girlfriend right now.

I hate having NO control.

Believe me... I have always lived my life according to the belief that I have ultimate control.. but the past year of my life has proven that theory dead wrong.

Yeah that sounds like it sucks.

but it is only temporary...until you finish school in your field...?

I think it's pretty common for students to suffer while they are doing the whole "Paying your way through school" thing. That is a really hard part of anyone's life, but it won;t be forever...right?

Sorry you're bummed out now. I would suggest passing on just one shift now and then so that you can breathe and maybe do something else more enjoyable.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy! (and crazy too).

{{{{hugs}}}}

Great advice Daisy and Cosy, its all about change and the way you think, throw some positive thoughts in there, find fun and free entertainment at the parks, summer events etc. I think everyone has a tight budget at this time and I try to make the best of it with swimming and parks and visiting friends.
You can do it, baby steps.....

hugs xxxx

The hardest part is that nobody in my life actually gets it. They all think I'm making a big deal out of things that are not a big deal. But not a fucking one of them have ever been in the position I'm in.
My mom got married and became a housewife right out of high school.
My brother that I live with did an apprenticeship and is now a licensed plumber.
My other brother did an apprenticeship and now works for my dad (also apprenticeship) as an electrician.. and got married when he was my age.
My other brother is a momma's boy who's always gotten a helping hand from our parents. They gave him a fucking car for christ sake (while, incidentally, they were borrowing mine... for 2 years... without paying me a cent for it... while I was in school...)
My friends from the university I was attending before I transferred last semester all live with their parents and get help from them for their books and tuition. My best friend is native and gets everything paid for by the government on top of a monthly living costs allowance.
Any time I talk to anyone about how fucked I am in the pocketbook all I hear is "well can't you get loans?" (um.. yeah.. I'm in the whole 30 grand already, thanks....) and "well why don't you get some scholarships?" (um.. yeah.. they're not out there. I do try. I try really fucking hard. I pull straight A's and I am poor and fuck and I STILL don't get any scholarships or grants... because once you're out of 1st year (where they throw them at you without even having to apply!) there are no scholarships out there unless you're disabled or a minority.. apparently white people aren't poor...)

"I mean if you achive outstanding grades don't you get a scholarship?"

no. This is exactly what I was saying.

Oh and I can't lvie with my parents because they don't live anywhere near a university.

Hi SBoom, I really feel for you. I have the same feelings but in a different boat. I dont go out as my money is swallowed up by something else. I cant remember the last time I laughed. But at the end you will look back. You have no one to thank & you will have got there by yourself on your own. That is one hell of an achivement. I dont know about the how the UNI's run in the USA but do u have a school coucellor or something like that you can talk to. I hope you feel a bit better writing all down, remember, admitting your not doing so good is'nt a sign of failure but a sign of maturity, please take care & keep thinking there is a pot of gold at the end of the long rainbow. If you want to talk or vent of you can email me anytime. Take care, Debs x

sounds like a normal college students life.

dates here and there,

small amounts of employment,

little money for the bills,

lots of school work.

itll eventually pass. youre on the normal path that it seems most take. so things should continue to follow that standard. meet someone serious around 25 - 27 buy a home around 27 - 30, have kids, buy things you always wanted, save for retirement in your 40s and then live normal around 50, and then retire...
i dont know what political science is... but if it costs a lot, its probably something important.