Don't let him move in plain and simple!

I had a woman that gave birth to me (she was never worthy enough for the mom title) that was like that and I had nothing to do with her after I turned 18 and moved. It wasn't until 10 years ago when she was dx'd with dementia I gave her the slightest time of day! Before she got bad she still never apologized for anything. So she lived with my older sister until she passed and nope didn't go to her funeral.

Do you have other siblings that he can stay with? Other family members? If not have him look up the homeless hotline or YMCA.

Not everybody has that cute cookie cutter relationship with people who brought us into the world and once we got here treated us like trash, which is why I always say family doesn't always mean blood.

You said you just had an engagement party which is definitely the start of your new life, don't let him ruin it, dad or not!

Thank you for sharing. A possible solution is to look for someone else to help him, who can better. No shame in not being able to help. It is not wanting when able that causes real shame. Many abusers use guilt as a great weapon, and use it skillfully. If he must live with you, then you should give him rules to live there. Maybe include going to Counseling together. Trying to fix his problems, as the love is there, or no Anxiety would be present. Sadly, no easy answer, as I deal with a similar situation. You are in my prayers. Thank you and God Bless.

Just say No. Your an adult, you don't have to let him stay with you.

Hi. The ONLY thing you do is put your own needs first!! Your father is his own responsibility, so don't accept any of the false accusations or guilt or shame that he throws your way.

This is the dialectic we face everyday: finding the balance between meeting our own needs and meeting the needs of others. It's made more difficult when people try to manipulate us by using guilt, shame and false responsibility. You are in a place where you need to meet your needs first, it's as simple as that. Your abusive father needs to take care of himself. I know it's hard but you have to learn to say "NO!" Anything else and the chance you have for your new life will be destroyed. TR

Hey there, I can understand the compromising situation you may feel! I don't have the wisdom in this situation but I do think that talking to a family counsellor in your area would help you to get some advice and assistance on how best to communicate the boundaries you want to set. It seems that you and your dad's relationship has some deep wounds and it may help to talk through those to understand what first to address with your him!
Courage to you!

This will probably get pretty nasty. If you haven't already, do NOT let him move in. That would be a horrible mistake. Next ... tell him to leave you alone .... and if he doesn't, notify the police that he is harassing you. The next step is a restraining order.

He's going to try to take you for everything you have or will have. Don't let it happen.