Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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I Deserve to Die...

RockNMetalChic
RockNMetalChic
Monday, December 22, 2008
Guess u will all be happy to know how screwed up my life is right now.......i am in love with a man named Matt.... he used to tell me that he loved me too.... i stood by his side through everything and now i'm living in his home state- with his family and working a stupid job that i hate ..... my hands are chapped or something ..... he dumped me...... just yesterday we were riding in the car listening to a song about never being alone by nickelback and he said it was for me.... now i'm not good enough - i'll never be good enough..... all i wanted was for him to love me the way that i love him ..... he doesn't know that i pray for that everynight- that just having him hold me close makes me feel special like i'm the only woman on earth..... i lost the first man i thought i was going to spend my life with to death and now i've lost My Swanky..... i love him so much....... if i have to let him go - i'm letting me go too...... won't say when or how - but one day everyone will get up and i'll be dead..... doesn't he realize without him there is no me to put back together..... life isn't worth living anymore...... and i refuse to stay alive and watch my life get worse ......... i've lost everyone and everything and i deserve to die- so forget any of u ever knew me- cause i'm lost and alone and soon to be dead- for all of those who helped me and supported me- i'll miss you and i thank you...... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx! Brandi - :(
Community LeaderWanderingVet
WanderingVet
Brandi, .. few relationships work when either person loves the relationship more than they love themselves. When you are satisfied with living your life off the love for yourself, you can THEN complement that life with giving and receiving love from someone else.

Our FIRST love must be unto ourselves and there has to be enough of that to live on.

THEN we can give love to someone else. Cannot live on someone elses love because they can take it away from us. We must be able to live even well on our own love, and love from someone else is a wonderful additive to our happiness.

Having love from this person is wonderful, but NOT having it has to be "OK".
deleted_user
deleted_user
OH COME ON, IF YOU DONT LOVE YOURSELF,HOW CAN YOU LOVE ANOTHER?, AND IF I SURVIVED A 13YEAR REALATIONSHIP,BREAKUP SO CAN YOU.I DID EVERYTHING FOR THIS GUY,EVEN RAISED HIS KIDS FROM ANOTHER WOMEN.THEN HE LEAVES ME FOR ANOTHER YOUNGER WOMEN. I WENT THRU HELL.BUT SURVIVED. SO CAN YOU. DONT GIVE UP.IF YOU NEED TO TALK IM HERE FOR YOU. I LOVE YOU,AND YOU CAN LOVE YOU TOO. BIG HUGS.
deleted_user
deleted_user
If it was the first time you thought you would spend the rest of oyur life with someobody maybe its just a good thing maybe you are moving in the right direction. Having your heart broken hurts, you will heal though, give yourself time. Love yourself...you deserve love and one day you will find it
DonnaB49
DonnaB49
You don't deserve to be dead. I have been hurt so many times because the person I had feelings for didn't think I was good enough. That is bull, he wasn't good enough for me because he was superfiscal. Sometimes it just isn't mean't to be and you never know, you might meet someone else who will treat you better. Don't give up on yourself, it's not your fault. Neutrogena Norwiegan hand cream is very good for extremely chapped hands, it will help heal them if you use it everyday. Big hug to you dear.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Honey it is life, You can survive. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Worry about yourself, you will find another love. When you least expect it! He obviously didn't love you like you loved him, so you are better off without him.
Don't give up! Move on and show him how strong you are. You are young yet and things will come togather. You just have to give it time. You at least you have a job where alot of otheres with families would love to have. So as much as you hate it look at it as a postitive thing. And I am sure that if you really think you will come upwith more positive things about you.
You WILL find someone in time who loves you the way you love them. But don't give him the satifaction of bringing you down.
Good luck dear!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
you will get over it. I have been married 3 times, so I just keep trying to get it right! Im not sure I ever will get it right, but gotta keep looking.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes, I know RockN it hurts terribly hun.....but plezz just try to hang in there...and see what tomorrow brings ok?
Tomorrow is another day I say, just hang in there till tomorrow huni. xx
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know that feeling very well. I was married for five years to someone who was my best friend, as well as my wife. The last several months of our marriage she was cheating on me. I didn't know, she hid it well. She left me when I was at my weakest point. I was severely depressed, and going through Intensive Outpatient Therapy (1-week-3-hours per day). It hurt me so bad because she left me when I needed her most. I lost my best friend. I won't lie, it will take awhile to feel better from the loss you're feeling. But in time, it will happen. At first you'll have to take your life minute by minute, step by step, and day by day. Keep your true friends close, and don't isolate yourself. Most of all, stay with us and fight through the pain best you can. We are all here for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
hi. sorry to hear what happened with the loves in your life you mentioned. having never been in love or lost them, i don't know what it feels like or what to say to help. plase hang in there and take care. i hope things have eased even if it's only a small amount.
deleted_user
deleted_user
He doesn't diserve you. Someone else does. I am sure there is someone out there who is good and honest and right for you. Please do not put all your faith in one person who has hurt his last woman, let alone you. You are better then this and you will find the one who is right for you. xo
deleted_user
deleted_user
YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO DIE, that is left to people that tamper with kids. They are the only people that deserve to die. So just keep on plugging along. Good luck. Baz
deleted_user
deleted_user
Matters of the heart are the worst.

You can survive this.

You deserve to be loved back.

Love doesn't hurt.

Hugs xx
Eudaimonia
Eudaimonia
I hope you are ok, and yes I still care.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You don't deserve to die! Please hang on. I know you are in pain right now , but if you can please hold on......please try to love yourself as much as you love him , you are worth it.Please be strong. Imyself am trying to be strong. I get those urges just to end it all but I cry and fight against it. Let's pray for eachother and try our best to hang on. Love Faith.
meandthebeast
meandthebeast
Rock my friend.. you have gotten some wonderful advice here especially from wanderingvet.. now it is up to you to take it..

IRL.. if you dont love yourself, then no one can truly love you.. I have seen you go back and forth with Matt and his wife.. Its time for you to let go and find yourself.. You deserve to be happy and you need to know that you can be happy without having someone else make you feel that way.. hugs you..